Teenagers

[Magnum50]

Hi, this is my first post but it’s a big problem!! Over the Christmas school holidays my 24 year old adult daughter had her younger half-siblings: my 17 year old autistic son and 13 year old daughter, stay at her house. She had left home when she was 15 and had very little contact with the younger children over the past 9 years. I allowed the sleepover and was in regular contact with all 3 children. We spent Australia Day together going to a concert. At the end of that day the 5 of us discussed the younger ones coming back home in the next few days. But things changed quickly. My 24 year old sent me a message saying I was a terrible mother to all 4 of my children (I have a 27 year old son who along with the 24 year old are a product of my first marriage ). That my 2 younger ones, whose father I am separated from) would be better off living with her and that I was not to contact them nor try to get the kids home. I attempted suicide due to the trauma of accusations and not having my younger children. My estranged husband has since provided support and we are working together to put an application to federal court to recover our children. My actual concern now is that they will be returned to us by police and my older 2 children will be legally unable to contact their younger half-siblings, but I will be left with two teenagers who will blame me for depriving them of their sister and their ‘exciting’ life with her, and not care that she broke the law, couldn’t provide medical, mental and emotional support nor enroll them in school-all the ‘boring’ things that parents have to do. Any suggestions on how to help them recover from this and to see that as parents their father and I were never going to allow them to disappear from our lives would be helpful.❤️

[Bre-RO]

Hi @Magnum50 

Thank you for opening up to us about this, I can only imagine how devastating this situation would be for you. Not only to be away from your children but also to have heard those hurtful words from your 24 year old, you would have been beside yourself. You mentioned that you attempted suicide when this happened and I just wanted to take the time to ask if you've been getting support after this happened? 

One thing that sounds hopeful is that you are working with your husband to take steps to get your children back into your care. All the concerns you've raised around this experience for your youngest children are very valid and it's good that you are thinking about that now. It seems like the whole family could do with some support, would you be open to talking to a family support service to see what they can do to help you heal as a family? 

Please know that we are hear to support you through this as well