daughter hostialized twice for suicidal intentions- im grieving

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Community Manager

Re: daughter hostialized twice for suicidal intentions- im grieving

Hi @sunflowermom that is great to how well you are both going! Sounds like you have definitely reached a turning point these last few months Smiley Happy We are very happy for you both!

You have worked so hard on keeping the communication channels open and it sounds like your daughter is now building that trust by openly coming to you to talk when thoughts become painful- such a huge achievement and a real testament to the years you have dedicated to building that foundation of trust with her Heart

Recovery is never perfect, just like life! But with the support from your family and the ongoing love and honesty between you both, it sounds like your daughter is on a really healthy path!

How are you going with your self care too? Now that she is stepping up and taking on more in her recovery, has it given you some time to also step back and do some things to look after yourself? I know for myself that when the person I care for starts taking steps forward, it can be a time of readjustment to what the "new normal" looks like, and has some opportunity to reinvest in your wellbeing too. Hope you have had some time to invest inwards too!
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Check out our community activities calendar for December 2019 here
Parent Community Champion

Re: daughter hostialized twice for suicidal intentions- im grieving

Hello! Just checking in. Life continues to move along. Daughter is doing online school, working, driving. I feel like it's a dream after all we have been through. I'm just hoping to offer hope to any parents going through the nightmare side of things.
It's still not how I imagined our life would turn...but it's good. And I'm allowing her to make choices in her own journey. After all, it is hers.
I'm doing my own adjusting, I have much PTSD surrounding the past years. But therapy and kindness to myself are helping.
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Community Manager

Re: daughter hostialized twice for suicidal intentions- im grieving

Hi @sunflowermom,

 

Thank you for checking in with us! Looking back over the last 12 months of posts on our forums, it is so wonderful to hear the changes and the healing journey both you and your daughter have been on! 

 

The hope that sharing your story brings to our community is so powerful! So many parents can relate to having or currently are in the space supporting their teens that you have worked through with your daughter. I had a look, and this discussion has been viewed over 8000 times- that is a lot of parents that your story has helped Heart 

 

It sounds like you have been working hard on yourself too Heart How are you going with keeping up your self care and wellbeing? What sorts of things have you been doing this month to be kind to yourself?

 

So good to hear from you sunflowermom! Stay in touch Heart 

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Check out our community activities calendar for December 2019 here
Parent Community Champion

Re: daughter hostialized twice for suicidal intentions- im grieving

Hello dear @sunflowermom

I'm relieved/happy/grateful that you, your daughter, and your family are in a better place this year.  I hope this place you're now in feels solid under your feet, and that the pain of the last while is seen through the rearview mirror.  

 

Our gal--our incredibly strong and brave daughter--is also doing better (I touch wood as I type that).  I still cross fingers and hold my breath that things continue on this path.  I guess that's part of the PTSD that you write of...the lens through which I now see our gal still makes me catch my breath and makes the events of the past couple of years seem so much closer than I would like. 

 

I miss the days that were more carefree, along with the more carefree confidence of days gone by that I could always keep my children well and safe.  

 

But, I'm grateful.  So grateful.  She is in quite a rigorous school that expects strong academics, student leadership,  and participation in arts and athletics.    It was a bit of a risk letting her go there since we weren't sure if the culture there would be too demanding.  But, it seems to have called to a part of her that was lost for a while.  She is trying hard, pushing herself to try new things... and there are successes.  Relationships with her brother and sister were positive over the summer. She seems to be building/maintaining relationships with friends who want good for her. .  And, she has worked on trust with us....because she knows we were oh so scared by the paths she took/ended up on in the past.  

 

I want to naively believe that she will now always choose the paths that carry less risk and less harm to herself.  I know this is naive, because 'hey, still in that stage of life where she's testing boundaries as she should be'.  But, she has given herself small and big examples that she is resilient, has value, and deserves much good.  

 

Yes, there was caution this past summer, and the fear that things would slide back. But, the fears for the most part did not materialize.  AND, there were also many moments of joy.  After the past two years, we do not take joy for granted. 

 

Sunflowermom, I hope things continue to unfold in a way that is solid and healthy for you and your family. 

 

I hope there are clearer skies ahead for all on this site. 

 

 

 

Parent Community Champion

Re: daughter hostialized twice for suicidal intentions- im grieving

Dear @compassion
Thank you for touching words. It brings me so much joy to hear your girl is also doing well. It's so amazing to hear she repairing her family relationships and involved in school.
Your not being naive....you know,we have teens andvtgey will make mistakes. But I don't sweat the small stuff that parents who haven't been down this road do. And I'm sure you are like me. We are in a place of gratitude it's an eye opener and lifts tgat heavy weight we've carried for the past few years.
I sure hope parents reading this understand there truly is hope even when you can't see through the fog of complete desperation and brokenness.
Thank you so much for your WONDERFUL update 😊