01-12-2018 09:19 AM
I have a 13 year old son and a 15 year old daughter, They both get on like normal siblings and our family life is pretty normal.
However, they do occasionally display behaviour which to me seems a little odd. They seem to have no problem with being seen naked by each other. Now please don't get me wrong, they are not walking around the house naked everyday, nor am I suggesting anything even remotely sexual going on. Its just every now and then they act in a way that surprises myself and their mother.
I'll give a couple of examples of what I am trying to say.
1. About 2 weeks ago i had just washed towels and there were none in the bathroom and my daughter didn't realise, so after a shower she walked straight through the lounge room/kitchen past everyone in her birthday suit to the laundry to get a towel.
2. a couple of months ago we were camping and after a swim my wife was in the tent getting changed and my impatient son changed his underwear behind our 4wd but in full view of myself and my daughter.
Firstly, do I even have an issue here?
I have always tried to avoid teaching body shame, but certainly neither myself or my wife have never been so open with things infront of the kids.
I am personally happy just to leave it alone as I don't see any harm being done and it happens at most maybe 2-3 times a year and only for a few seconds at a time.
However, I am keen to get advice from other people on what they think of the situation and what if anything we should do or say.
01-12-2018 12:11 PM - edited 01-12-2018 04:41 PM
@s4431915 Thank-you for your post, I loved it ! Hilarious ! So refreshing to have some fun issues discussed ! I absolutely do not think it is abnormal for your kids to show their bodies to each other incidentally, occasionally and non-sexually. Wow I love your kids, how free and comfortable they must feel as a family unit to believe this is ok. You and your wife have done a great job - good on you ! I love it when siblings have a real , deep , relaxed , close relationship it is a credit to you as a family.
My husband and I are quite free with nakedness in our home. I sometimes hope from the bathroom to the bedroom with no clothes on, go searching for my underwear. We have a small house and the likelihood of this happening sometimes is unavoidable . My son ( 13 ) always rolls his eyes lol !!
My view is that we are in our own home and we are a family, I am not going to be hyper vigilant about my modesty in my own private space.
We used to bath and shower together when they were little.
My husband has run around the house naked to tease my kids too , they thought it was hilarious.
My kids ( 17 and 13 ) are a little more conservative than us and and will not let us see them if they are changing and do not change in front of one another but I would not care one jot if they did.
My son skips past us now and says " don't look at me ! " I said to him, I gave birth to you and wiped your butt for 2.5 years do I care if I see your crown jewels, really ? get over it !
I teach drama and we have performances where the kids come to the stinking hot single sex change room with singlets and shorts on to go over their underwear, and underneath their costumes its ridiculous ! they are boiling !
I think kids are becoming more conservative because of their parents hang ups about nudity
Really, we should be teaching kids that birthday suits are fine.
Their bodies are beautiful and they should be proud of them whatever the shape and size . Geeze there is nothing new , we are all variations on a theme !
Obviously I don't mean parading around naked , is ok but anything else....fine !
Anyway, that's my view - thanks for the post
09-18-2018 07:17 AM
Hi, I'm a new membr, and a single mom. long story and now I'm 34 with a 15yo son and 16yo girl. lov them both, never married, so difficult to manage. my son is a slow learner and I home school, my dauthter just dropped out. sometimes I need a place for me. I always take care of Mike, he is first. since he was small I wante to protect both of them, so mike hangs on to me, jus hard to manage unless he is touching me, most of time I go topless and no my daughter is topless, my son only wants me and ii pay special attention (baby him) yes I still bath him and he won't wear clother at home. and I can't fight it, tired.... but in his prime, he is always aroused, and Becky and her gf (both gay) stare.
I am bearing my soul. been to doctors (and it's my fault) it's difficult and non stop, walls are closing in. now becky is sitting next to me and Mike, like a normal family but they are naked...... Help please or talk with me
09-18-2018 11:00 AM
I just want to clarify because it sounds like there are a few things going on at home for you. Am I right in saying that right now you are feeling like you are needing some personal/me time for your wellbeing?
We really value your courage and trust in bearing your soul and speaking your truth about how you are feeling and what is happening in your home. It's incredibly admirable to hear how much support and love you have for your kids, and how accommodating you are of their individual needs like home schooling your son.
Adolescence is a time with lots of changes happening within the body. Nudity in home environments is something discussed on this thread a few months ago and I would be interested to hear from @s4431915 and @motherbear about their thoughts. Is the nudity with your children something that is making you or your children uncomfortable, or is this something you are all comfortable with?
I know that in a previous comments here there was some discussion about talking body positive and adolescent body image. Is this a discussion that has come up in your household?
Thank you for making your first post, it sounds like you have had a lot on your shoulders and I want you to know that there are always members here to support you
01-02-2019 07:43 AM
My sister and I showered together until well into our teens, with the full knowledge and support of our parents. Nothing ever untoward happened and we never closed the bathroom door, with our parents often dropping in whilst we were under the shower or drying after showering.
We saw each other's bodies change during puberty, and thought nothing of it. First genital hairs appeared, then my sister developed breasts and I sometimes got an erection, which was just physical phenomena which we noticed but never acted upon.
Thanks to modern parents who do not think that nudity or the human body is something to be ashamed of.
An not, we as a family do not practice nudism.
01-04-2019 03:07 PM
Thank you to everyone's insights and experiences on this one!
@Brolloks really appreciate your honesty and your perspective.
There is certainly no 'one way' to parent or to one way to think about nudity and modesty. In different countries around the world many different forms of nudity and modesty are deemed as acceptable or not according to the local culture - for example in Germany nudity is something practiced very commonly in families, and is not an issue . Similarly, in many other cultures, clothes do not cover the parts of the body that western culture deems to be inappropriate.
The themes that have come up in this discussion about trust and respect, seem to be the most important... As long as everyone is respecting each others boundaries, and there is trust within the family, then nudity doesn't seem to pose any issue to wellbeing.
01-05-2019 05:39 PM
Thanks for the compliment Fred RO, but often parents make an issue of something when in reality there is no issue. I mentioned how my sister and I showered together until we left home, all the way from being toddlers to being high shool students. It just seemed that we would bath together as long as we could remember as the most natural thing to do, and the question of when should we stop bathing (later, showering) together just never was asked: se simply continued doing so!
Often times I would get home from sport practice, all sweaty and hot, and jump under the shower; even in such cases I would inform my sister that I was going to have a shower, asking if she wanted to join me. We would soap in each other, scrub each other's back, and at times even dried each other.
Of course it often led to embarrassing moments, especially when my body showed it, but the thought of doing anything inappropriate just never arose.
Thanks for having understanding and modern parents who not only allowed us to do so, but trusted us unreservedly.
07-02-2019 05:52 PM - edited 07-02-2019 06:01 PM
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