trouble with twins

[sylvia]

Iam  in   the   same situation  with my twins.

My ones   were  fighting too  so the girl went to stay with  a relative.they  are  nearly  17  now.The situation is  the same.the boy is not going to school  the girl  has moved out living with a boyfriend.   I  don't know what to do.Iam trying to homeschooled my son  and keep trying to talk     to my daughter.Very  difficult situation.Look after yourself.Try to talk to them  nicely.

[Jay-RO]

Hey there @sylvia,

Just letting you know that I moved your post to its own thread so that other users will see it and be able to respond  How are things going with your twins?

It sounds like you're in a difficult situation, is there anyone you're close to that you can go to for support? Having a good support network of friends, family or professionals can be a great way of helping you handle difficult situations with your twins.

How is homeschooling going with your son? ReachOut has some great articles on school and kids listed over here, including how to help your teen when they refuse to go to school. 

I am also going to tag in a few other users who have spoken about kids not going to school and moving out before as they may have some advice that they can share with you

@Lekino, @PapaBill, @JAKGR8, @Nikkita.

[JAKGR8]

Double trouble sounds horrible. Good on you for sticking with it. 

When teens refuse to go to school on an ongoing basis, something serious is likely at play. It isn't just wagging anymore.  Teens refuse to go to school because they feel an aversion to school itself. Usually their preference would be to go to school but something there is more troubling or anxiety inducing than not getting an education. 

Are you sure is is school refusal and not just wagging?

So -  has it been going on for a long time? how anxious/stressed do they get?

There are so many possible reasons for their choices and behaviours. I wonder what they are.

• anxiety?
• Bullying?
• Conflict with friends or lack of supportive friendships?
• Family problems at home?
• Academic issues or difficult relationships with teachers?
• Sexual harassment?
• An incident in school?

Some teens refuse to go to school because they’re worried about a troubling situation at home. For example, teens might want to stay home if a parent is ill. Moreover, if their parents are fighting, a teen might want to stay close by to prevent one parent from leaving or from hurting the other. Teenagers who have problems with authority and following the rules sometimes refuse to go to school.

It really helps to use compassion, understanding and patience to get to the heart of the problem. If possible, try to involve someone from the school or education department when trying to negotiate school changes. Most high schools have a counsellor or attendance officer who should have access to information and resources for school attendance. After all, it is their job to educate, isn't it? Having said that the school should also be willing to be flexible to some extent as well. They need to break out of the factory style system for these anxious teens.

I haven't offered much help but there are some more ideas in my other answers - just click on my name and they should come up.

Good luck and big hugs. .

[sylvia]

Hello   darlings      thanks  for  your  concern  .Unfortunately   my situation has not improved.My   son has  video game   addiction..   Iam   trying   homeschooling  at the moment   he  is refusing  to do it  but  I  told him he has to move out  if he is not  doing anything.My  daughter  still  has not come  home   she is behaving like  iam  her worst  enemy...these   games  have wrecked   our family..that  is how all  started  about    a  few years  ago

[sylvia]

And   I  don't have  any friends   any relatives...it  makes  it so hard

[Jay-RO]

Hey @sylvia, thank you for the update

I'm sorry to hear that things haven't been going that great. Are there any local schools that might be able to help you with homeschooling your son? A thread you might find interesting is this one on Gaming, where users have shared their experiences with gaming. There might be some strategies other parents have used that might be helpful in dealing with your son's video game addiction, what do you think? 

We've also done an Ask a Young Person segment on the forums, where one young person answered a question about why a user's daughter says she hates them that might also be interesting to read. 

It can be hard to cope with negative situations without much support from friends or family. If you feel comfortable, you could try reaching out to a professional, such as a counselor or psychologist. There is also a ParentLine that you can call. What do you think?