How do I not take the teen angst personally ?

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Parent Peer Supporter

How do I not take the teen angst personally ?

I have a 16 year old daughter and an almost 14 year old son

They are both in the midst of eye rolling , prickly behavior - and I can't help taking it personally

I feel like I have done something wrong even though logically I know this is what happens - it is developmental not a reaction to me per se.

But it is directed at me and I'm feeling it ! My emotions are taking over my logical side

does anyone else ever feel this way?
Parent Peer Supporter

Re: How do I not take the teen angst personally ?

It's so hard not to take it personally isn't it @Beingme2017. Teenagers excel at eye rolling - I'm surprised my daughter's haven't rolled out of her head yet, although there's still time...

 

It can be so hard to separate our feelings from what we know logically. We love our kids so much and when they're not nice to us it hurts. Teens don't think like we do though, and you're so right when you say it's developmental rather than a thought-out response to us.

 

My hurt feelings often get in the way before logic does. My poor pillows are weighed down with my hurts - crying into them, yelling into them and swearing into them. Once all that's out of the way, I can step back and think logically about what's going on.

 

I do think it's okay to let our kids know how their words or actions affect us though. It hasn't stop it happening with my daughter, but she does now apologise if she's been really rude or mean.

 

You're an amazing mum, and your kids are lucky to have you. x

Casual scribe

Re: How do I not take the teen angst personally ?

Learn to meditate. It's just anxiety. Among other things, meditating just 10 mins a day will help you relax and not feel threatened all the time. At least it helped me a lot haha.  Do it consistently. I do it in the mornings. It makes my days a loot better. Good luck!