My 15 year old daughter

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My 15 year old daughter

Morning I have a 15 year old daughter that refusing to go to school at the moment .she started year 10 last September everything was ok for a bit and after the Christmas  break she keeps saying that she feels sick and dizzy and then she started refusing to go in school I managed to get her into school until one day in march I had to go into work early and that day she didn't go into school for some reason .most mornings she said that she feels sick so I took her to the doctor's and they couldn't find anything wrong with her so I got her to go to school but when the school Easter holidays she was ok but when they started back in April after the Easter holidays she started refusing to go .I went into school to have a meeting with them and they came out to our home to see if they could give me support with her finally she went back into school in may and went until they broke up for the summer holidays .she started back in September everything seems ok with her but just before they broke up in October for half term she started refusing to go into school saying that she feels tried and sick all the time taken her to see the doctor but this time they said it was anxiety around school it's got that bad that she don't get out of bed until after lunch time and wouldn't go out with friends at the weekend I spoken to the school had a few meeting with them they also been out to speak to my daughter but she wouldn't tell them anything we are so worried about her and I don't know what to do any more with her .


Re: My 15 year old daughter

Hey @Maria, welcome to ReachOut Smiley Happy 


I can see from your post that you're pretty distressed about your daughter and her relationship with school, particularly regarding her anxiety and lack of attendance. 

ReachOut have some articles on the topic, this article looks at a student's experience with managing her anxiety at high school, and another looks at understanding teenage anxiety for their parents'. Just wanted to let you know that the resources are Australian based but I hope they will still be useful.


Some other adults on the forum might have some more advice so I'll just tag them here Smiley Happy @FreakedOut @hippychick @Schooner @sunflowermom


- Andrea

Star contributor

Re: My 15 year old daughter

Hi @Maria

I understand how stressful it can be when our kid refuses school.  My daughter suffers from anxiety and depression which has resulted in the past year and half of "sporadic" attendance.  We keep in touch with the school when the panic attacks happen and we even have some accommodations in place for her.  Like she gets extra time on assignments, she can sit by a support friend.  she can leave class if she is getting to overwhelmed and sit in the counselors offices for a bit or the rest of the period.

I think its great that the school has come to you to help try and sort things out.  It sounds like they are very supportive.  Give your daughter some ideas of accommodations the school is willing to do for her.  I think sometimes its hard for our kids to voice what they need and what is actually wrong.  I am wondering if she would be willing to see a therapist and get some ideas how to better handle the anxiety.


Community Manager

Re: My 15 year old daughter

Hi @Maria,


What are your thoughts about some of the suggestions @sunflowermom has given? 


Would love to hear how you are going today- I can imagine this experience must be so stressful for you as a parent. I can see from your post that you have been working so hard to help your daughter feel more comfortable going to school Heart 

Prolific scribe

Re: My 15 year old daughter

Hi there @Maria

I dont have a solution for you but I do know exactly how you feel. My son has been going through what your daughter is going through. My son has had problems with going to school. He gets very anxious around people but he wasnt always like this..only since about age 13. He wants to finish his fi al year next year but hates having to go to school. Like your daughter.  Its hard for us as parents to see our kids like this isnt it? How is your daughters mood when she is at home? Is she happier at home? Does she talk to you about how she feels? It helps if they can be open..sometimes I wish my son would be able to accept that he has anxiety but he says he doesnt. My son has missed a lot of school days..the school isnt happy with his attendance but he has managed to get good marks in all but one subject. I allow him time off school as long as he manages to do all his tests and assignments..I understand school is exhausting and I would rather compromise than watch him drop out. Would your daughter be willing to tell you why she doesnt want to go? Perhaps if you say that you think she might have some anxiety issues and see what she says. Maybe ask her if the workload is overwhelming..can she change some subjects? Most importantly, try to show her understanding and patience.  I dont have an exact answer for you..teenagers can be hard to understand thats for sure. I hope you let us know how you go..hang in there she will come through just fine...please keep in touch.



Re: My 15 year old daughter

Thanks for taking the time to write that advice out @hippychick, it sounds like this post hits close to home for you. It is amazing that you have found a way to manage all of this. I also had to edit your name out of your post as ReachOut is anonymous. I also removed your first post which appeared to be a duplicate.