Resource on how to talk to your teen

[Orbit64]

Recently my wife and I were at a real low in what has been a 2 1/2 journey with our son. He is now 16, has not lived with us for almost a year now. There are all sorts of complex issues to deal with and we have struggled recently with ideas to change the way we communicate to him. 

We were doing and saying much the same thing over and over.

He is doing the same thing over and over, just getting worse and worse. 

We had to do something to flip or change our approach and thinking. After all we have tried, our son’s situation continues to deteriorate.  

Nothing we have said, done or tried, has changed the outcome for him. 

The purpose of my post is to communicate a resource we found that has provided a whole new set of ideas for us to help with the way we think and communicate to our son. 

Search talkingtoteens 

We found lots of ideas in several of the podcasts that really helped us. One podcast that really hit the mark for us was called

”self-centered teenagers and empathic confrontation”

yes and the site and most of the resources are from the US. 

Just another of the many resources that may or may not work for and help other parents. 

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @Orbit64,

Thank you so much for sharing some resources you have found to support communication strategies with your son. You mentioned a pod cast ”self-centered teenagers and empathic confrontation”- what was your main take away from this resource? Were there any messages that really 'clicked' for you?

Sharing resources is such an important part of supporting each other- I am wondering what other members have found when looking for resources on how to talk to a teen? Do you have any ideas to share?

If you don't mind @Orbit64, I think this is a conversation that could really help other parents- I am going to pin it on the announcements page so parents can find it quickly

[Orbit64]

My short example of empathic confrontation would be

”when that part of you that gets angry, it really upsets me. You need to give me a moment to ........ calm down / think about what you have said / etc”.

I like the way the language of “when that part of you” divides out behaviour and specific emotional responses from the person. It feels to me a lot more powerful than saying, “when you get angry and yell at me”. 

This is just a short example. I would recommend listening. The podcasts are typically 25 to 30 minutes long. So they are ideal to listen to in the car driving to work, or going for a walk with earbuds in.