14 yo never wants to come home

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Frequent scribe

14 yo never wants to come home

Our daughter is 14 and wants to spend all her time at her friends house, and seems miserable at home (and rude).  I feel hurt that she doesn't want to spend time with us.

 

I suggested her friend come over to our house but she doesn't want that. Should i be concerned or is this just normal teenage behaviour?

Contributor

Re: 14 yo never wants to come home

a tip for you: cook something attractive! attractive! attractive!


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Founding member

Re: 14 yo never wants to come home

It sounds partly 'regular' teenage behavior and partly something I'd want to address (without knowing anything about you or your teen).
I wonder if recognizing with her that she doesn't seem comfortable at home might start a helpful conversation. I sometimes just open up to my 14yo daughter with things like this, let her know I'm noticing what's going on (in a positive way, showing care rather than judgement) and ask her straight up if there's something wrong at home or something she wishes were different so she'd be more comfortable having friends round or even hanging out with you (shock horror!).
Maybe she hates the colour of her walls or always feels poorer than her friends or thinks the house smells or any of a hundred things - but regardless of what it is she probably won't tell you unless you ask.
Hope that's given some thinking space...
Frequent scribe

Re: 14 yo never wants to come home

good ideas. I'll try a calm, open chat with her and see if we get anywhere...
Frequent scribe

Re: 14 yo never wants to come home

Not that this helps, but there was a while where one of my daughters didn't seem to ever want to be home.  After a bit of probing, it turned out to be because we didn't have a swimming pool!



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Community Manager

Re: 14 yo never wants to come home

How did you go having that chat with your daughter @MeJane?

Community Manager

Re: 14 yo never wants to come home

I think what @Sbaussie said is so true. 

 

When I was a child I always had friends at my house and they never invited me to theirs. I took it personally but found out years later they were just embarresed about silly things like the food their parents made or their neighborhood or anything and everything!

Community Manager

Re: 14 yo never wants to come home

@StHubbins So did you get a swimming pool? I'd be interested to know how you dealt with that, and even how you began the probing that made that discovery! It sounds challenging.