11-02-2020 02:11 PM
11-02-2020 04:37 PM
Hi @ifonlyiknew ,
Thanks so much for sharing your story here, I'm so sorry to hear that things aren't great between you and your children at the moment. I'm sure a lot of parents reading will find your insights really valuable- setting boundaries and following through on those can be one of the most challenging parts of parenting teenagers, and it sounds like you acted out of love and a desire to protect your kids from the abuse you experienced as a child which is completely understandable.
Can I ask how old your kids are now? Is your daughter still living at home with you at the moment?
I imagine this would be incredibly difficult, but have you ever spoken to your kids about how their behaviour makes you feel?
It sounds like things have been pretty tough for you lately, do you have anyone who can help to support you?
Thinking of you, and thanks so much again for sharing your story here.
11-05-2020 08:50 PM
I didn't realise this group was for families of teens and young people when I first joined, I have 3 adult children, the youngest is 30 but may as well be 12.
I tried to be a fair parent but had a partner that was over-permissive, especially with the youngest. My 30 year old had the intelligence and ability to be anything, i mean the boy is a genius. He has never had a proper job, he takes meth regularly and drinks alcohol until he blacks out every day he is not on meth. If he can't get alcohol he drinks metho.
I too was a daughter of a nazi mother but all of us kids supported her and were respectful of her to the very end. She didn't want to go into a nursing home and boy, it was hard work but we all took it in turns to care for her in her own home until she could no longer stay there, and then in our own homes. My eldest son has only just started speaking to me after 4 years, taking away my grandchildren who I now barely know. My daughter hasn't spoken to me for 3 years because of some throwaway comment another family member made about her wedding, and my youngest I have had to sever ties with before he emotionally killed me. He was selling my belongings for drugs, trashing the house and manufacturing meth in my home. I didn't know what it was because I am quite naive about drugs. I have got him into university 3 times now, and each time he has self destructed and left. He can't even get a drivers license because he will drive drunk or high. There is no chance left for him.
I had to work very long hours during their upbringing and whenever I tried to discipline them, my husband overrode my decisions and never backed me, and I wasn't there much of the time to uphold them myself. Someone had to put the food on the table though. Now I am the big bad wolf.
Not only do you have to be strong but fair, but you also need your partner, if you have one, to be on the same page as well
11-05-2020 10:44 PM