07-10-2019 11:52 PM
07-12-2019 02:20 PM
Hi @Papaa and welcome to ReachOut Parents- I hope you find this is a supportive community to share your experiences and hear from other parents going through something similar.
Firstly, I want to thank you for being so honest and open with us about what your family is going through. I can hear how much you love your children and grandchildren- they are very lucky to have your unconditional support and a space to return home when they need some extra help with housing
It is a really tough situation you are in, where you are trying to do the most good for the most people. Living in a full household can be really tough as everyone brings their own thoughts and ideas to the mix, but it also seems like having everyone at home has been an important step for your housing situation at the moment, and for your kids too.
My first thought is how generous it has been for you to open your home to your daughter's boyfriend. While it may not be the place you thought he would stay, you have given him safety and the opportunity to keep your daughter in the household while she completes her studies. It sounds like you have also thought through some boundaries with her around the living, which is good to help balance the trust with her so it is a two way street.
I can see where this is challenging with your other children, and am hearing that their concerns are also for her wellbeing too, but coming from a different perspective. The discussion about whether or not to allow a partner/boyfriend to stay with the family is a topic we have heard recently- @Bnwcbw00 recently posted making some similar decisions here but also from a different perspective. There were some great words of advice on @PapaBill who has also gone through something similar.
Have you spoken to anyone else outside of your family to get their thoughts?
07-12-2019 08:42 PM
07-13-2019 11:00 AM
Hey @Papaa ,
It sounds like a really stressful situation. As @Jess1-RO commented, there are others who have been in a similar situation, so thanks for sharing.
Clearly you have the best of intentions for your children, grandchildren and their partners. That's a truly admirable quality
Its a hard thing to please everyone. Sometimes its simply not possible, and there is nothing you can do that will seem "right" to everyone. And its particularly difficult when you only one person, among many.
Having boundaries in your house is important, and its great to see you have them in place.
It sounds like the demands on you are tacking their toll, and there is only so much you can take. Have you had a conversation with your kids about this?
Its always difficult when a house is "angry" and everyone feels frustrated. I imagine it would be especially challenging when your not the only adult.
Have you had any positive experiences with any strategies you have tried in the past?