09-11-2016 06:04 PM
Hi @Concerned welcome to RO! Thanks for taking the first step to share with us. Can you please tell us a bit more detail about what you and your daugther are going through? That way we can better understand your situation and provide the right kind of support. Thanks
09-12-2016 11:58 AM
Welcome @Concerned! I'd love to help connect you with some resources and perhaps connect you with some other parents in the community who may be able to offer advice. Do you feel comfortable sharing some details about the situation?
09-13-2016 12:34 AM
09-13-2016 02:59 PM - edited 09-13-2016 03:01 PM
This sounds like a tough situation @Concerned, but please don't be so hard on yourself. Deciding to end an unhappy relationship will be much healthier for you, your daughter and even your husband in the long term. Your daughter may not realise it right now, but by making this decision you are defining what is and isn't acceptable behaviour in a loving relationship, and that is important.
09-13-2016 05:11 PM
Hi @Concerned, welcome; I'm so sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time. It must be very difficult for you. It is really important you are trying to recieve help in reconnecting with your daughter. It shows how much you care. You are in a very difficult situation, and it takes strength to ask for help. You must be feeling very sad and isolated right now. Do you have family or friends you can use for support? You said you asked your ex to take your daughter to counselling? Have you a counsellor?
Just as you are, your ex is doing what he can to maintain his relationship with your daughter in the only way he knows how. She is only 16 and more than likely very confused. I too have a 16 Year old Daughter. Parenting is the hardest job in the world.
There are support programs in place which may possibly be able to help you. www.1800respect.org.au is a safe place to start. They will be able to steer you in the right direction for the next step
09-13-2016 06:59 PM
I'm glad you're willing to let us try to support and help you.
Just for a minite let's remove all the husband stuff and concentrate on the relationship between you and your daughter. I want to understand what the "mistake" was you are seeking forgiveness for and why you apologised to your daughter and her friend's family.
Was it for leaving? Was it for being mistaken about flirting behaviour?
We all make mistakes; admitting that is half the battle. It sounds like you were very unhappy in your home life and so made the decision to leave. I want to suggest you see a counseller. I'm not sure how long since you moved interstate but do you have friends or family you can talk to? Even so, sometimes its better to see someone outside the immediate circles. I believe it can be a huge relief to get all our worries out and heard by someone who can give us realistic strategies to deal with our problems.
Would this be something you might consider?
09-13-2016 08:44 PM
09-21-2016 02:38 PM
Hi @Concerned, I just wanted to see how things have been since you last posted. Have you been able to speak with your daughter?
10-15-2016 05:35 PM
Thank you all ladies for your concerned replies and kindness as well as very appreciated advices
My daughter still angry at me and not much contact has been exchanged
I do have a friend i can talk to about my problems and she has been a great help
Just worried the more time apart will only harden her heart and make it difficult to make up and start all over again. She keeps telling her older sister that she needs time and space
Waiting and hoping that she will understand my feelings and realise that she means the world to me