How often do you have other kids over

[Frustratedmum77]

Hi I have a 14yo daughter who recently got her first bf (13). She tells me they are not sexually active but just cuddle. She insists on having him over every night or she goes to his place. Often not returning until 9pm or he leaves around this time (he lives at the end of our street). This has been going on the past month or so. I’m starting to feel like this is way too much too soon and have told her from now on I don’t want kids here at night during the week. She can see them during the day but once night comes they have to go home or if she is at their place she needs to come home. Is this unreasonable? Am I being too strict?

[Hannah_RO]

Hello @Frustratedmum77, welcome and thank you for reaching out to the forums to tell us a bit about what is going on for you and your daughter. I understand your concern for your daughter, first relationships and sex are big steps in your daughters life. I can sense that you want to ensure your daughter's safety and wellbeing as she navigates through her new relationship. It seems like while this is a new experience for your daughter, it is also a new experience for you as a parent, and I imagine navigating these new stages of life with your teen can be confusing and scary at times. I can see that you have already set some boundaries with your daughter around nights during the week, and you are feeling unsure on whether you are doing the right thing. To help answer your question, I thought you might find this article helpful, which gives tips on setting boundaries with your teenager. 

When it comes to supporting your teen through relationships and sexual activity, often having an open and honest conversation about your concerns can be helpful too. Have you had a chance to talk about your concerns about sexual activity with your daughter? 

I imagine that having these discussions with your teenager isn't always easy. For a bit of extra guidance on how to have these conversations, you might like to check out this article that has tips on how to talk about sex with your teen. Another good read that might be of help is this article on how to help your teenager engage in a healthy romantic relationship. 

I hope that some of the articles I have shared help, thanks so much for posting here and please feel free to keep us posted with how you're getting on

[Frustratedmum77]

Thanks Hannah_RO, that advice was good. Especially the part about not communicating in a dictatorial manner and maintaining calm when I’m upset. TY

[Bre-RO]

Hi @Frustratedmum77 

I'm happy to read that Hannah's advice resonated with you. As she mentioned, please feel free to update us or reach out for more support if you need it!