07-08-2019 07:45 AM
My 16 years old son just keep playing online game 24/ 7and i tried everything didn't work.I tried to set the time didn't work i got his phone at night time and his computer at night time didn't work as his attitude toward me changed and got so angry and i didn't want the respect that he always has beak between us.I need help if anyone experiencing the same thing.Someone told me give his freedom back he will wake up and stop playing one day i did listen to the advice last week and he started to clean up at home and take the garbage out!
I need to know if i am doing the right things as he is going grade 11 next year he was always good student but his grade did dropped grade 10 a bit.He tell me that he knows what he is doing and i should leave him to make decision and he will study when the school start again.I am open to any advice.
07-09-2019 06:19 PM
Hey @Zarazara1 ,
Thanks for coming online and sharing, I know there are many caregivers who are struggling with this, me included!
In our house, we turn off the wi-fi and that works (my kids don't have enough data to waste).
I think you raised a really good point when you said "Someone told me give his freedom back he will wake up and stop playing one day i did listen to the advice last week and he started to clean up at home and take the garbage out!"
Why do you think your son responded so well to that?
07-10-2019 03:18 PM
07-10-2019 05:25 PM
Really good point @Zarazara1 !!!!
Last year I saw a graph showing how much influence parents have over the childhood/teenage years. Basically, our primary role is being a 'consultant' (give them a run-down of the various options and then hand the responsibility over to them).
Great to see you have done this so successfully!!!
Its just so hard . . . and scary!
07-11-2019 03:18 PM
07-12-2019 02:46 PM
07-12-2019 03:27 PM - edited 07-12-2019 03:54 PM
I am so happy there are people who think i might be doing the right thing and thank you for the reply.
I definitely share my experience as i know there are parents like me who are struggling with their kids about online game and computer and cell phone, sometimes I think teen don't even hear us, be honest with you I thought maybe he feels the same way and I did start hear him better now and once in a while he comes out of his room and says something that's seems funny to him but might not be funny for me but I do listen now better and I do pretend its funny.
I do not expect things change soon i am sure by September I will find out because the school starts then and i will see him making decisions.
His behaviours has already changed toward me and I see he starts to feed himself more now and getting jelouse too as i decided to spend more time outside the home for myself finally.
He starts to answer my phone which he alway texted me back because didn't want to be interrupted on middle of his the game.
To me these are hope, maybe is small things but is big for me.
07-15-2019 04:08 PM
Hi @Zarazara1 I definitely agree that it's the small steps everyday that lead to big change, and it sounds like there are a few good signs that your son is connecting more, and responding the increase in freedoms/trust you have given him to arrange his day.
I can hear you are making a really big effort to connect with him more on topics he's interested in, like sharing his jokes- this is really great! We definitely share that hope with you that over time, day by day the small steps will combine to see things improving for your family