My son won't talk to me

[Jam2705]

My son is 16. I know its common for boys to withdrawal from their parents and need space but my son Will not talk to me about ANYTHING ever!!!. He isn't just withdraw a little but 100%! (Probably this last year especially. I seriously feel like I have no idea about his life or friends. If I ask him anything he gives me very vague answers and gets annoyed. He thinks I'm trying to pry in to his life and am being too nosey. Even if I ask him a simple question like, "what did you do with your friends this weekend ?" Or "How was your day?" Or "what are you watching on YouTube?" Its sucks. And if I try to ask him something personal, you better believe its over. he is immediatly annoyed and leaves the room. I think he is doing ok. He has a good core group of friends that are good kids and he seems happy but honestly I have no idea if he doing OK!. he gets so mad and even calls me an overbearing, helicopter mom when I say a thing to him. I am totally not and give him a lot of freedom so I'm not sure why he says these things! Then I tell him, if I feel hes too withdrawn,that it makes me sad we don't spend time together anymore so I ask him to do something simple like go grab a bite to eat or go to the dog park. Then, he will say no and that I'm manipulateung him in to doing stuff
By trying to make him Feel bad or guilty for not wanting to do anything with me. Anyone else deal this? How do I handle it?!?! When will I get son back?!?!

[Taylor-RO · Accepted solution]

Hi @Jam2705, welcome to our forums. I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through with your son. As you said, a lot of parents experience this with their teenagers and it can be difficult to not take it personally. It sounds like you have tried a few things and it is really great that you have tried to organise some time to spend together. Maybe you could tell your son that you are going to set aside some time together on a particular day and that he can choose the activity? We also have an article on withdrawn teenagers which you might find helpful to read through as it has some tips and resources.

I am also wondering if you have thought of seeking any professional support for your situation? It must be so heart breaking to go through this and feel like you have lost your son. Talking to a professional can provide a space for you to vent and develop other strategies  

[Taylor-RO · Accepted solution]

Hi @Jam2705, welcome to our forums. I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through with your son. As you said, a lot of parents experience this with their teenagers and it can be difficult to not take it personally. It sounds like you have tried a few things and it is really great that you have tried to organise some time to spend together. Maybe you could tell your son that you are going to set aside some time together on a particular day and that he can choose the activity? We also have an article on withdrawn teenagers which you might find helpful to read through as it has some tips and resources.

I am also wondering if you have thought of seeking any professional support for your situation? It must be so heart breaking to go through this and feel like you have lost your son. Talking to a professional can provide a space for you to vent and develop other strategies