My teen girl ignores my presence at home

[vig10]

Wow that sounds cool.
Thanks for that.
I will definitelly try it.

I feel like hugging each and everyone of you for your kind and comforting words

Big Huggg

[sunflowermom]

@Orbit64

I tried your technique with the smile but I did it for 3 minutes instead of 30 seconds, I must have read it wrong....lol   I was making myself laugh with a big silly grin and a fake laugh- I did sound like the joker!  Then my face kinda froze like that for a minute- good technique I will definitely try it again, just maybe not for 3 minutes straight! Thanks for sharing this!!!!

[Schooner]

Hi @vig10,

I've had similar experiences with both of my teenage girls. One is now 21, and she has recently started to apologise for her behaviour during her teenage years. So, maybe, in the future, you might get a hug and a "sorry Dad" like me.

I was worried about drugs and peer pressure and mental health issues. But mostly for my daughters it was growing up (plus anxiety and a some depression). I hung in there for them (and still am). It's a tough job, being a Dad, look after yourself.

Cheers

[Orbit64]

Hi Sunflower,

It does actually work. I taught it to my daughter when she was getting upset or stressed about an event she had to attend or participate in. We would do it in the car together just before I dropped her to the event where there were some feelings of anxiety associated with it. Even an exam or important test. 

It gets all the good energy / chemicals flowing in the brain. 

The trick is to raise your cheeks as high as possible, almost squinting, high cheeks, big crazy grin gets them up high, about 30 seconds typically does the trick. In a minute or so after you’ll feel the flow of good feelings from endophens released in your brain.

It is why laughter, especially a big hearty laugh often makes you feel so good.

It’s all in the high cheeks! Good reason to avoid Botox too I guess 😀. Big grin. 

[vig10]

Thanks for that
I'll hold my breath
Hope she comes to her sences by 21.

Cheers

[Orbit64]

Hi @vig10

Just touching base to find out how things are going with yourself and your daughter. 

Have you managed to try anything that has helped?

[vig10]

Thanks Orbit for caring.
She said twice thank you Dad this week.
So that was a progress.
But yesterday she had a rough day at school and some arguements concerning school assignments with her Mom. I prepared some pasta for both of them but she rushed to the toilet and vomitted it all acusing me of deliberatly poisoning (?!) her.
I am a human reck since last night. How can she even think that. Why do I deserve this ..

[Taylor-RO]

That is a really neat trick @Orbit64, I like it! I think everyone can benefit from it.

Sounds really tough @vig10, were you able to explore or understand why she was thinking that you made her vomit? That could be a really complex situation and could help with how you are feeling or give you something to work with?

[vig10]

Yes you are right.
Its just that I wasnt there when she said that. And her mother doesnt want to confront her with this. She was too shocked I guess.
So for the time being its a puzzle...
Just makes so sad and frustrated..

[Orbit64]

Hi @vig10  

I try to find the positives and build on those. So a thank-you from her is a great improvement. 

I know that the setbacks can overshadow any kind of improvement. I guess it is a matter of trying to build on the positive and see where that takes you. Glass half full rather than half empty.

As one of my great mentors said, when everything has gone to the pack, you can still turn the situation upside down and create a positive out of it. We used the expression

"turn your stumbling blocks into your stepping stones". Now that was in the context of engineering construction. I still try to apply it to my approach to life in as many ways as I can. 

There could be many reasons for feeling unwell and being sick. I guess it would be worth asking her in the right moment how she is feeling.