New here, my son has been diagnosed with OCD and ADD,

[Karamel1994]

I have an adult son who is so difficult to talk to, he always thinks everyone is angry with him and they do get angry because he does not accept that other think differently than he does. Does any one have any suggestions as to how I can relate or talk to him. I’ve been trying to find help for him but nothing seems to be working. Any advice will be very appreciated.

Thank you

[Portia_RO]

Hi @Karamel1994 and welcome to the online community!

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling to relate to your son and that he is difficult to talk to. It sounds as though you're doing your very best to connect with him, but that it's been tough. You mentioned that he often thinks that people are angry with him - is this the main thing that makes communicating with him difficult? What does a conversation between the two of you normally look like?

You also mentioned that you've been trying to find help for your son but that it doesn't seem like anything is working. Is your son seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist? I can see that you're not based in Australia, but SANE is a fantastic service we have here that's designed for adults who are struggling with their mental health. While your son wouldn't be eligible to user their online forums, they have some fantastic resources and fact sheets that might be useful for him, or even for you as his parent. 

I can hear that trying to connect with your son has been a tough experience for you, especially if you feel like nothing is working. Is there anyone in your life that you're able to talk to about what's been going on? What kind of things have you been doing to look after yourself while you're trying to support him? 

[Karamel1994]

I am in Ohio USA and he has seen a couple therapists, but nothing they have told him has helped, actually it has made things worse. Now he doesn’t trust any of them either. I would love any information your willing to share with me so I can educate myself.
A conversation with him amounts to trying to be reasonable and when he hears even the slightest bit of what he feels negativity he Instantly thinks your angry with him and he starts getting angry back and it’s a struggle from there. He has pushed everyone away . Again, thank you for your time

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @Karamel1994, thank you for adding that extra information. If you feel comfortable sharing, how has therapy made things worse for your son? Sometimes if the people in our life are unable to engage in therapy for whatever reason, it can help to attend ourselves so that we can discuss ways of supporting them and dealing with any challenges that arise. Supporting someone else can be really tough, especially as a parent! Have you ever thought of seeing a therapist yourself?

It sounds like you do your best to accommodate how he is feeling in a conversation.. but you are unsure about what to do next. Are there certain phrases or words that he does not like hearing? Have you been able to discuss ways of talking that he does not see as associated with negativity or anger? I really feel for you being in this situation, it sounds tricky