New parent

[helpmeplease866]

Hi all, I desperately need some advice on how to be a good dad. I have recently entered a relationship that involves a baby and the relationship is almost a year old now. I have been present for the majority of the child’s life as I met his mother when she was only 12 weeks pregnant, the child’s biological father has completely been absent throughout the whole process which I’m not going to lie makes it a little easier on me to completely see the child as mine. However I’m afraid I’m not doing enough as I’ve been occasionally reminded by the mother and it stresses me out because I really care about the relationship and the child but I haven’t got the faintest idea on how to be a proper father, hell I don’t even have a clue on how to be a good boyfriend. I suppose what I’m asking is for experienced fathers to give me some advice on the regular day to day parenting so I can step up my game. Please help me.

[Hannah_RO · Accepted solution]

Hi @helpmeplease866, welcome to the ReachOut forums!

Thank you for sharing a little bit about your situation with us. It sounds like it has been both an exciting and challenging time for you and your partner as you navigate parenthood with a newborn baby. I imagine that anyone starting out parenthood would share your concerns about being a good parent, as no one really knows how to be a parent when their first child comes along. It sounds like your partner and the baby mean a lot to you, and I can sense from reading your post that you are determined to be the best parent you can be for the child. 

You mentioned that you’re looking for some advice on day-to-day parenting. I wonder if it might be helpful to look into some resources for parents with babies. I found a range of articles on the Raising Children’s Network here, about raising babies. They also have some resources specifically for fathers here. Could this be something you’d be interested in looking into? 

I am mindful that as we are based in Australia, we don’t have any suitable services to offer that provide support to parents in the UK. However, I came across this parent helpline based in the UK that might be worth looking into. 

You also mentioned that your partner has shared that they feel that you aren't doing enough for the child. I imagine that on top of the pressure of raising a child for the first time, bringing a baby into the world can add some pressure onto the relationship. Have you been able to speak to your partner about things? Or is there anyone else you can chat about things with?

Thank you for reaching out to the forums, I hope some of the resources I have shared are helpful  

[Hannah_RO · Accepted solution]

Hi @helpmeplease866, welcome to the ReachOut forums!

Thank you for sharing a little bit about your situation with us. It sounds like it has been both an exciting and challenging time for you and your partner as you navigate parenthood with a newborn baby. I imagine that anyone starting out parenthood would share your concerns about being a good parent, as no one really knows how to be a parent when their first child comes along. It sounds like your partner and the baby mean a lot to you, and I can sense from reading your post that you are determined to be the best parent you can be for the child. 

You mentioned that you’re looking for some advice on day-to-day parenting. I wonder if it might be helpful to look into some resources for parents with babies. I found a range of articles on the Raising Children’s Network here, about raising babies. They also have some resources specifically for fathers here. Could this be something you’d be interested in looking into? 

I am mindful that as we are based in Australia, we don’t have any suitable services to offer that provide support to parents in the UK. However, I came across this parent helpline based in the UK that might be worth looking into. 

You also mentioned that your partner has shared that they feel that you aren't doing enough for the child. I imagine that on top of the pressure of raising a child for the first time, bringing a baby into the world can add some pressure onto the relationship. Have you been able to speak to your partner about things? Or is there anyone else you can chat about things with?

Thank you for reaching out to the forums, I hope some of the resources I have shared are helpful  

[helpmeplease866]

Hi Hannah
Thank you very much for your reply and resources. I appreciate the support and the effort you put into this reply and I will definitely be looking more into the resources you provided and also try my best to communicate with the people close to me. This reply was extremely helpful.

Many thanks

[jayson1]

If you’re new to the parenting world, you can always ask your own parents for advise on how to raise a child. If not then you can reach out to new parent groups around your block or join a parent’s support group. Good luck