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Sleepovers

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Casual scribe
Bradders

Sleepovers

My 13 year old has recently come out as gay and told us that her best friend at school is actually her girlfriend. She has now asked to have her round for a sleepover. If she was straight and asking to have her boyfriend stay over I would say no. Should I apply the same logic for a girlfriend? I feel like if I do I'm stopping her from doing what all teenage girls do and have a girly sleepover. I'm completely new to the gay world so I hope nothing I have said is in any way offensive. I have absolutely no problem with my daughter being gay and just want to make sure she is safe and happy. Thanks in advance for your help.
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Parent001

Re: Sleepovers

Hello Bradders, 

 

I had a similar situation on my hands when my son came out as bisexual a few years ago. I found myself thinking what types of rules I'd need to keep him safe, but not limit his self expression or ability to date. I wouldn't say that I "found a perfect solution," but here is what I did, and for the most part, it seemed to work.

 

With sleepovers, we had two rules: 1) I needed to meet the person before a sleepover was planned  (have them over for dinner), 2) I needed to meet the person's parents before a sleepover was planned (at least speak with them over the phone),

 

In addition, my son and I had a lot of heart to heart talks (about sex, love, and relationships). I felt that if I trusted my son, knew his friend/significant other, and was acquainted with their parents, then having a sleepover was as safe as it was ever going to be. 

 

Truthfully, teens will find a way to do what they want, no matter what you do. I know I did ; ) So, instead of trying to control him, I decided to guide him to do what he wanted in the safest way possible. 

 

I hope this helps.

Bryn. 

Casual scribe
Bradders

Re: Sleepovers

Thanks Bryn,

That makes sense, I guess it's all about communication.

Bradders