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Teenage Friend dramas

Discussion forum for parents in Australia

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Casual scribe
Birdfeather

Teenage Friend dramas

My 14,yr old daughter had falling out with one her good friends, who is daughter of one of my good mates.
Since then her daughter not doing so well mentally & emotionally, but was having some issues also leading up to, but has worstened over last few months.
My friend & I haven’t discussed this fallout. but she wants to meet up to talk about it.
My daughter called her friend a not nice name, then apologised when friend said she couldn’t be friends with someone who called her that.  She didn't mean it in nasty way, it was a defensive reaction to something her friend said.
My daughter over last 12 months have swapped changed friends going through the teen cycle.
I read this is very normal.
I’m concerned that the blame will be laid on my daughter for my friends daughter emotional state. Any advice for this chat?

Prolific scribe
Iona_RO

Re: Teenage Friend dramas

Hi @Birdfeather 

 

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing what's going on for you at the moment. I can understand that this would be quite a tricky situation to navigate with the interconnected friendships involved.

You've mentioned your friend's daughter is currently having some mental and emotional issues, do you know if she has any support with this currently?

When it comes to chatting to your friend about your daughter's friendship, have you thought about how you'd like to bring this up or what reactions you are prepared for?

Casual scribe
Birdfeather

Re: Teenage Friend dramas

Hi

I met with my friend this morning, and as I feared she blames my daughter and another friend for her daughters current mental wellbeing.  It was not a big event and her daughter should have moved on by now as was quite some time ago. 

It is really complicated and not sure that she can see her daughter has part to play in this (hooking up straight after with the boyfriend of one of the girls she had a falling out with).  This just created a triangle / tennis match of back and forth **bleep** for tat.  She only has her daughters version of events.

I hope that she does get some therapy for her daughter, and not just continue to use this falling out some 8 months ago.  Her mother is lovely and kind and supportive.

Prolific scribe
Courtney-RO

Re: Teenage Friend dramas

Hi @Birdfeather and thank you for keeping us updated with what has been going on for you.

I'm sorry to hear that your friend blames your daughter for their daughters current mental wellbeing. I can only imagine how upsetting that would have been for you.

I just want to say that it was really brave of you to meet up with your friend and try to talk to her about this. I was just wondering how she responded to you and whether she was accepting of what you had to share?

I can only imagine how stressful this must be for both your daughter and yourself so I just want to remind you that you're important too.What kind of things do you do to take care of yourself after a tough week?

We're all here for you.