01-22-2021 03:10 PM
01-23-2021 05:55 PM
Hi 1 Tired Mom,
I am also parenting a 14 year old daughter, as well as a 16 year old son. 2020 wasn't the greatest year with our 14 year old. She withdrew for a few months, so there wasn't a lot of confrontation or arguments. More distance. We're having real trouble getting either of our kids to do just about anything, and they're both quick to order us around and expect us to jump. Our son has threatened to self-harm or take his life when he doesn't get his way, which naturally makes me very concerned and I'm always walking on egg shells. Yet, at the same time, I know I'm being manipulated and that he's not playing fair. We had a recent crisis which ended up at the ED and we're still in the midst of following up with professionals. Like your son, he's also into gaming and it seems to produce or encourage inertia.
We find it particularly difficult to get the kids to do their chores and my husband gets angry, I feel hurt and the kids don't change, just seem oblivious. They don't seem to care about us at times. I wouldn't way it's constant, but it would be nice for them to think about whether we might need a kind word, some encouragement or shock horror...a birthday present or Christmas gift.
So, to answer your question about whether other parents are feeling negative about their teens, the answer is yes, although they each have some very strong redeeming features which raise me up and encourage me.
Hang in there and care care.
01-24-2021 01:32 AM
01-24-2021 01:05 PM
01-24-2021 01:09 PM
01-25-2021 01:37 PM
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences here. I think that it really shows how challenging this year has been for so many parents, and I think there would be a lot of parents who could really relate to having times where parenting feels just incredibly hard - I think that a lot of people could relate to having those moments where you love your kids, but you're struggling to like them all of the time. @1TiredMom are you still experiencing restrictions due to covid where you are? It can definitely be really rough on everyone when you're all cooped up together, without your usual coping mechanisms. I don't know if this would help at all, but we do have some resources on our Parents page on ways to help your child stick to a routine during covid-19. I know that when my oldest child was homeschooling, having a bit of a routine that included some exercise really helped us to all cope a bit better- I've linked to that article and resources here if you think it might be helpful.
It sounds like everyone having a bit of a break from each other might have been a good thing, how are you feeling today?
@Birdwings I'm so sorry to hear that you recently ended up in the ED, that must have been such a stressful experience for you all. Are you happy with the professional supports that you have in place now? That feeling of walking on eggshells sounds like it would be really exhausting
It sounds like it's been a really trying and exhausting year for you and your family, have you been able to take any time over the break to relax and recharge at all?