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Why does my daughter say she hates me?

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Why does my daughter say she hates me?

Parent/Carer Community Champion

Why does my daughter say she hates me?

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Parent question: My 15yr old daughter keeps taking things that are not hers and using it without asking. She's rude and aggressive most of the time. When I ask her why she keeps doing those things she told me she doesn't like any of us, which is her family, and she thinks she hates me. I asked her why and she said no reason. What is really going on in her head because it's affecting her school and our household?


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Our youth volunteers have shared their thoughts, what are yours? 

What do you / would you say to your teen saying they hate you? 

Parent/Carer Community Champion

Re: Ask A Young Person Q3: Why does my daughter say she hates me?

I love the answer from our youth volunteer above  -such a good insight, that often when someone is really angry at you, the reason is not related to you.


I also want to add that this seems like a really common experience for mothers / parents and daughters - the late teen years are a common time for this relationship to break down and experience a lot of hard emotions. I think the mother-daughter relationship can be a really complicated one. 

An important thing to keep doing as a parent, is to be consistent and keep showing love and care. Often the anger a teenager feels or expresses, is related to some other tough feelings they are having about themselves, or their life generally. 

There are a lot of changes going on for teens, and a lot of pressure and soul-searching. It's not an easy time. 


For the parent that posted this, please continue to reach out for support. It's really challenging to have a child say they hate you, and I can't imagine how hurtful it would be. You can call the Parents Line to get advice over the phone. You may also want to reach out to a counselor or psychologist to get your own support on this issue. 


If any other parents have insights onto this issue, please post here. 

Parent/Carer Community Champion

Re: Ask A Young Person Q3: Why does my daughter say she hates me?

Just really quickly, big hugs. Teen girls can be really mean.
Sometimes it easier to take their anger out on family than on the real problem. 
Sometimes there is something really bad going on and we can't see it.
Sometimes our kids are just nasty pieces of work.
I am going to think more on this and hopefully you can give us more info about her explicit behaviour. 

Stay strong and loving.