09-20-2022 09:58 AM
09-20-2022 04:51 PM
Hi @Lancaster and welcome to the online community.
I'm so sorry to hear about the trouble you're having with your ex-partner and the influence he's having on your sons. It sounds incredibly stressful to have them being picked up from school when it's your time with them, and particularly to see them starting to become disrespectful towards you.
After reading your post, I'm curious - what was your relationship like with your sons before they started spending more time with your ex-partner?
From what you've told me, it sounds like your ex-partner is pushing the boundaries of what's appropriate and expected in your coparenting arrangement, and seems to be disrespecting your time and relationships with your sons. Do you and your ex-partner have a formal coparenting arrangement, or have you been able to organise things on a more informal basis up to this point? I'm also curious as to whether your ex-partner ever tried to encourage your kids to put you down or tried to use them as a means of control when you were still in a relationship?
I can see that you're based in the UK, so if you're up for some reading, Citizens Advice has a great resource on managing an ex-partner who is taking your children without your consent. They also have some great advice on making childcare arrangement after separation, and what to do if your existing arrangements aren't working anymore.
3 weeks ago
Sorry to hear about your troubles with your ex and your boys. I am Mum to an 18 year old male and a 16 year old daughter. I am married so haven't gone through this situation personally. However, a number of my friends are divorced and been through this with their kids to the point where their kids refuse to talk or see them. I'm not entirely sure whether it's the ex turning the kids off mum or the kids' doing. However, I wanted to mention a situation called parental alienation which is where a parent turns kids off the other parent and ends up gaining full custody. I don't know whether kids find it hard going in between parents and feel they have to take a side in the same way people support a football team. I personally feel kids need both parents. Perhaps, someone else could add more to this.
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