05-15-2018 06:31 PM
05-15-2018 07:52 PM
Hey @Caz01 thanks so much for posting. I definitely think this forum will provide you with quite a bit of support around this issue, I will tag some other members below this post. It sounds to me like you feel no-one really understand the actual process of supporting a teen with anxiety? You have put in so much effort, and sounds like you have done all the right things for your Daughter. It must be frustrating her Father does not acknowledge the issues.
Am I right that you feel like it's time for you to receive some support and consideration? Do you seek counselling yourself or take time out for your own self-care such as yoga, meditation groups or something similar? I am also wondering if a therapist would be able to support you through managing your own boundaries and self-care while you do support your Daughter, slowly enabling her to self-regulate and become independent.
Keen to hear from you
05-15-2018 08:23 PM
05-15-2018 09:43 PM
Its so hard feeling like you are doing this alone. I have a husband but most of the time seems like i get no support or help making tough decisions. It feel so isolating at times. Its great to hear that she is in therapy and online school. She doing the right things to try and manage. I understand your feeling of never knowing the mood you will get from her. I feel that way too. I feel like I am surviving one day at a time. Not really thriving. Your daughter is very lucky to have a mum like you to stick by her and love her unconditionally. I hope you find that yoga class near you. Walks also sound like a great way to help defend against extra stress and reconnect. Its sounds like you are doing a great job in this difficult chapter.
05-15-2018 09:43 PM
Hey there @Caz01 yes that is the trouble with new practitioner's isn't it, can sometimes take a while to get the right fit. That's great your friend recommended someone. Wow you're a yoga guru! I definitely think something mind/body/soul based could be really beneficial.
That classic line "fasten your own oxygen mask first" is legitimate - we really need to practice the art of self care in order to help our adolescent's. I definitely think the right therapist could give you some ongoing strategies in maintaining loving boundaries as well; so that your Daughter can become a bit more independent allowing you to invest in new friendships/romantic partners etc.
How are you feeling now after sharing your story?
05-15-2018 10:05 PM
05-15-2018 10:12 PM
05-15-2018 10:46 PM
It's definitely a journey, it must feel so contradictory to the protective nature you have for your daughter.
Sane Australia have lots of resource in this area, this article on carer burnout is quite good & has links to other articles on boundaries at the bottom. They also have a help centre staffed by counsellors you can ring if you would like some strategies for helping your Daughter. I believe they are open until approx 10pm most nights (AEST). @Caz01
05-19-2018 09:19 AM - edited 05-19-2018 09:22 AM
Hi @Caz01 so glad that you and your daughter have had a few good days, and you were able to sit down and talk. One of the things that my daughters case worker recommended is wait until everyone was calm before attempting to talk about things. Even after a stressful situation, it can take sometimes 24 hours for the mind and body to completing calm down. Its really hard to pause before responding, but it works.
Some wonderful positive words from @sunflowermom. I didn't recognise my daughter when she was really sick. She looked the same, but nothing about her behavior, thoughts or actions reflected the sweet girl that I raised. It is now 1.5 years since my daughter got really sick, and while things are sometimes still a struggle... my sweet caring girl is back and we are closer than ever. Hang in there... things wont always be like they are now.