New member? Introduce yourself here!

[Emily1980]

Hi new member, I have a 19yr old son, 16yr old daughter and a 3 yr old girl. I have been a single parent now for 10mths. My kids make me laugh every day with there quirkiness. They are all so different! I have a parenting question my 16yr old lives with her father and she tells me terrible things about her dad leaving her for 5 days straight while he works away and how she never has food. How do I approach this. FYI my ex and I are not on talking terms legally and I rang DHS and they didn’t do anything about it. I have asked her to come live with me but doesn’t want to leave her friends or school. Her brother has left home already. I need advice!

[Blake-RO]

Hi @Emily1980, 

Welcome to our online community forums!  

I’m really sorry to hear that you and your children have been experiencing this, it must be really distressing to know that this is happening to your daughter and it sounds like it has been a really difficult time for both you and your daughter.

Thank you for sharing your story with us, I understand how difficult this must be for you and it takes a lot of strength to reach out to us, it really shows how much you love your children and they are all very lucky to have you!

It’s great to know that you have contacted DHS, given the situation it was very appropriate and shows how much you care about your children.

I was wondering if your daughter has access to any professional support from a GP or a mental health professional? Or if this is something you would be able to provide her with access to? There are also some really good online services that could offer some support like headspace.

Have you considered contacting the school to explore how they can support you and your daughter with what is happening to her as well?

I also wanted to ask you weather you had any support for yourself or would consider seeking some professional support?

Also, we have sent you an email so could you please keep an eye out for that. 

[Emily1980]

Hi Natalie I have contacted the school and they provide her with food during the day at school which is fantastic. I offered to pay them but they said it was all good. I had gotten my daughter to see headspace but she doesn’t like going as she feels she doesn’t need the help. I think she is embarrassed by the situation at school they have a well-being person that she speaks to on a weekly basis. I myself see an councillor once a fortnight and she is fantastic she has helped me so much😊

[TassieMama]

Hi everyone!

I’m so glad I found this forum, been feeling really alone.

We have 2 excellent daughters, 16 and 17.  They make us laugh all the time!

I try and keep the stress down by reminding myself that these challenges won’t last, and by singing and moving my body.

I found ReachOut Parents through some desperate Googling.

Top Tip- find something to connect with your kiddo- anything! And start important conversations in the car.

Weekends- reconnecting with the fam, getting to take them where they need to be, as a full time worker I don’t often have the time during the week.

I’m hoping to find some support/advice about our 16 yr old, who is finding it challenging to get to school at all.  Big plans for the future, but not much follow thru. We’ve  tried everything- taking off any pressure, incentives, ( I know….) seeing a psychologist and medication  for anxiety  ( still happening, not sure how much it’s helping)  the whole 9 yards,  Nothing seems to work, and as teachers we find it  doubly frustrating. The daily check in to see if school is happening today, then tying to stay positive when it doesn’t - it’s exhausting!

Thanks for having me in the village! 🙏🏼😀

[Hannah_RO]

Hi @TassieMama!

Welcome! We are so glad that you have found your way to the forums, it’s great to have you here.

Thank you so much for sharing a bit about your two daughters and your situation at the moment. We appreciate you taking the time to reach out - it can take a lot of courage  

I am really sorry to hear that your daughter is facing some challenges with getting to school. May I ask if you have had a chance to speak with your daughter about what it is about school that is making it hard for her to go? 

While it sounds like you have tried lots of things already, I thought I'd suggest some articles that might help you find some things you might not have thought of yet. You can have a read of one about school refusal here, and another one about problems at school here. 

I thought it might also be worth mentioning that ReachOut offers free one-on-one support with an experienced professional for parents looking to support their child through a tough time. You can find more information on this service here if you’re interested.

I really like your approach of keeping the stress down by singing and moving your body, and I think you’re totally right, these challenges won’t last forever. You have done such an awesome job already reaching out for support. Your daughters are really lucky to have a caring parent like you. 

I am also mindful of how tough it can be to support someone else going through a tough time. I was wondering if you have any support for yourself? Anyone you can talk to about this? 

Thanks again for sharing with us, we are here to support you 

[ASD-ADHDMuma]

My kids are 13, 12 and 10, i have boy, girl, boy. 

They are all diagnosed with ASD/ADHD and it's a challenge every day, i love them all so much but sometimes i get so upset that i don't have *neurotypical kids* I've always wanted a big family but had to stop at 3 because it's just not mentally possible for myself or husband to have any more kids.  

I found this forum today because I'm having an extremely hard day coming to terms with the fact that my youngest is now double digits I feel like I've lost a bit of myself and i don't like feeling this way. 

I know this doesn't answer all those questions but i don't really have answers for them, im always stressed, hubby and i have not had a night alone in over 13 years and my mental health sucks. 

[Blake-RO]

Hi @ASD-ADHDMuma 

Welcome to ReachOut's Parents and Carer forums!

Thank you for sharing this with us, I'm sorry to hear that you are having a bad day but I'm really glad that you have found our online forums.

It must be very challenging for you to have three neurodivergent children and it is completely understandable that you’re feeling this way. I can tell how much you love your children and they are all very lucky to have you.

I was wondering whether you and your family were receiving any support at the moment?

I know you mentioned that you have been very stressed and that you've been having difficulties with your mental health and was wondering whether you’ve ever spoken to a GP or mental health professional about this? It is important that you are also receiving support!

[millergh]

Hi all! I am a new member and looking for a similar family situation on the forum.

[Dem--RO]

Hi @millergh and welcome to the Parents Forum!

I'm hoping that you will be able to find the support you need from our community. 

Would you like to tell us a bit more about the concerns you are currently having?

[funkytoasty]

Hello my name is Chas and I have a 15 soon to be 16 year old son named Noah. Recently he made me laugh when we talked about him owning a harpy eagle(he loves birds) and his reaction was funny.
I try to remember not to take things personally that he is going through a really tough time in his life.
I joined this forum to get advice from other parents who have teenagers. This is a very difficult time for me too.
The best thing about the weekends is when I get to pick Noah up and take him out to do things.