2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago
Welcome to the Online Community! I am really glad that you have found us and have been about to reach out for some support.
I know you mentioned that you are concerned about your son who has missed a lot of school this year and it is very understandable that you are worried about this. I was wondering if you have tried to talk to your son about this? I know you mentioned that he has been seeing a psychologist which is really great to hear. Have you also been able to talk to the psychologist about this and have they provided you with any support on what to do?
I was also wondering if you have been able to speak to his school about this and if they have been able to provide you and him with any additional support?
I wanted to share this post with you that has some resources, information and tips about school refusal which you may find helpful. I also wanted to let you know that ReachOut offers one-on-one support sessions for parents. If this is something you would be interested in signing up to or would like to learn more we have some information about it here.
2 weeks ago
I have been trying to keep it all together but I am at the point where I just don't know what is right and what is wrong anymore and I just want that magic pill that doesn't exist.
The school are involved, and have been very understanding, but no help financially as all the school psychologists are booked up and so I am spending $280 up front with a $140 gap each time we see our Psychologist. They also can't really help too much as the issue is getting my son to school.... but once he is there they all comment how happy he is and he is hanging out with friends, laughing and joking around... It is killing me to work out just WHY this is such a hard thing for him when it is clear when he is there it all seems great.
I am constantly telling him how proud I am of him, and complimenting him on being brave when he manages to get to school. We are always telling each other we love the other, so he knows he has my 101% support.
Long story, my husband died 10 years ago, his parents have been a god send the whole time, but 5 weeks ago my son had a falling out with them and my mother in law won't have anything to do with us now as she claims she is 'done'. She blames me for not following all the advise on this school issue that she gave, and she thinks there is something really wrong with my son because he burst out crying one day when she scolded him about send me an sms while they were out together... She thinks he was sms ing me to 'save him' for his grandparents, when in fact he wasn't feeling well as his anxiety levels were up and didn't want to tell the grandparents so he didn't upset them.
I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and saying 'tomorrow is another day'.
2 weeks ago - last edited 2 weeks ago by Hannah_RO
Hi @missmoneypenny thank you for the update. I can really hear how much this is creating such internal conflict for you, not knowing if what you're doing is a help or a hindrance. From what you've shared, it really does sound like you are doing an incredible job of being supportive, and ensuring your son knows that you care deeply about him and just want him to flourish.
I can imagine it to be very confusing as to why he is so resistant to leave for school, despite seeming to be fine once there. It might be something even he does not yet quite understand, but we can hope that with ongoing therapeutic support, things will become clearer in time.
I truly admire your resilience, and you're right - sometimes it is just about putting one foot in front of the other. And we're here to walk alongside you as you go.
2 weeks ago - last edited 2 weeks ago
Hi @missmoneypenny I just caught up on your thread and wanted to chime in and see how things are going today?
I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you and you're son are facing. It sounds like you and your son are really going through it at the moment.
I'm deeply sorry for the loss of your husband. I can only imagine the impact this loss has had on both you and your son. Though some time has passed, I understand that grief and the absence of a parent can continue to affect families. How are you and your son are managing with this aspect of your lives?
It is a shame that the school psychologists are fully booked, private psychologists appointments can indeed be financially challenging. In saying that, I wanted to share a couple of free support services, Headspace and Kids Helpline, that might be beneficial for your son during this time.
Given everything on your plate, I wanted to check in with your well-being too. Supporting a child through difficult times can take a toll, and it's crucial to prioritise your own self-care. Do you have someone you trust, like a friend, family member, or counselor, who you can chat with about these challenges? Taking care of yourself is just as vital as caring for your son
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