Need help now?

TW: Raising issues around Psychological and Emotional Child Abuse

Discussion forum for parents in Australia

TW: Raising issues around Psychological and Emotional Child Abuse

Active scribe

Re: Raising issues around Psychological and Emotional Child Abuse

Hi Natalie-Ro,

It certainly has been an uphill battle that never ends.

As you raise points for seeking support through professional health care and support hotlines, are such services able to make mandatory reports to DCJ to have the children assessed on my behalf, to review the issues around education challenges? More importantly, are these services able to actually look into the reasons why the children are being withheld and not being allowed to have a relationship with their father and family for example ?

"Talking" only gets so far, it never removes the anguish of being deliberately removed from your children's lives. Unlike grieving for the passing of a loved one, where I agree, being able to talk about this over time will give a sense of acceptance, and understanding, my children are alive, my children are deliberately denied their rights, they have been brainwashed against seeking out their other parent and family. This is actually something that can be stopped and prevented. This is also something where the perpetrator of the abuse can be held to account.

I cannot accept this type of behaviour as a human, and I will never understand nor come to terms with the fact that my children are suffering in this manner and that there is no support to step in and prevent this.

Seeking discussions about "my feelings" and "how to deal with this" with said professional services, I am simply wasting the support person's valuable time and that for another person whom perhaps the support service are actually able to help resolve issues.

Unfortunately, in my case, keeps getting thrown into the "Too Hard Basket", there is no resolution possible - well unless as said a mandated report can be made to hold the Alienating parent to account for their behaviour.

I'm all for breaking down the walls, but action is needed. Sitting on the sidelines achieves nothing.

Prolific scribe

Re: Raising issues around Psychological and Emotional Child Abuse

Message contains a hyperlink

Hi @Bellalight ,

I can certainly understand your frustration and disillusionment with the idea of reaching out to more services to try and get support if they are unable to help you get in contact with your kids and rectify the parental alienation that is causing your distress. You mentioned that talking can only get you so far, so I'm curious as to whether you're finding it helpful to share your story and vent your frustrations on the forums? It may provide little solace when it comes to the bigger picture you're facing, but I hope that sharing what you're going through has eased the burden even in some small way. 

You also mentioned in previous post that you're not inclined to go back into the court system because of the negative experiences you've had in the past. I think this is completely understandable - it's hard to put faith in a system that has not been helpful before, and to pay such an exorbitant amount of money in legal fees only to have the court orders that are in place be ignored. With that in mind, what options do you think you have moving forward that might be helpful for you and your family? It may or may not be something that you'd like to explore, but if you do decide to return to court, it could be worth looking into Legal Aid to avoid the strain and pressure of paying private solicitors. 


Re: TW: Raising issues around Psychological and Emotional Child Abuse

I have no advice for your specific situation, but I have a friend who experienced something similar. He is keeping a diary of his experiences, hopes, dreams, fears and milestones about his son. When he's an adult he intends to give him this diary so his son will know how hard he tried, that he never stopped loving him, and all the ways that he fought for a relationship. 

It might be a way to give yourself a voice so that when they are in a position to choose, they know they were loved.

You are correct that the services just aren't out there when men find themselves in your situation. I'm very sorry you're going through this. It's incredibly sad, lonely and frustrating.

Active scribe

Re: Raising issues around Psychological and Emotional Child Abuse

Hi Portia-Ro,

Unfortunately I am not eligible for legal-Aid as the ex-wife had contacted, so they cannot take on my case.

Returning to court is not really an option. I did reach out to a couple of solicitors last year, however they did not give me any confidence what so ever, indicating that the children are already at an age that taking the matter to the courts, the children can simply say they don't want to have anything to do with me, and the courts would consider this.

Unless by some miracle, the school intervenes and escalate the situation with my son's educational neglect, then I doubt that as the year progresses that anything would change, so, I am having to concede that I'm defeated and have to simply give up the notion that I will have a relationship with my own children.

I have been advised several times that the children now are far to "damaged" (mentally) by their mother that they would need professional psychological support later, something the mother will have to deal with considering she has shut me out of the children's lives completely.

Just yesterday I received a call from the ReachOut, that at this time they neither can assist.  So really, its another door slammed shut on the issue.

As said, defeated.

I will end this conversation and thread.


Active scribe

Re: TW: Raising issues around Psychological and Emotional Child Abuse

Hi Kayeoh.

Thanks for your thoughts, your last paragraph pretty much sums it up.