Member interview: Olliefinches!

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Member interview: Olliefinches!

This week, I took a moment to interview one of the first members of our forums - @olliefinches! We couldn't do this without the help of people like Olliefinches willing to help us get things started! They've done a great job out helping others.

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How old are your kids? Can you tell us abit about your family?

We have only one child, a 17 year old son. Our son was bullied in Year 6 and since then has suffered from severe anxiety. The anxiety started as school refusal and as of last year he was diagnosed with severe OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) contamination. My husband works full time and I am our son's full time carer. 
 
When it comes to your son, what are you most proud of?
I am very proud of how my son fights his anxiety. He wants to get better and live a normal life. He, himself, is the only one who can make it happen, all we can do is support him.
 
What's your favourite thing to do on the weekend?
My favourite thing to do on the weekend is escape into my garden. It gives me some time out.
 
How would you describe your parenting style?
My parenting style is soft. This is good and bad. Good side is that I have a wonderful relationship with my son but not so good as it slowed the process of him getting better with the OCD. In the last year I have been learning how to be a stronger parent so that I can stand up to the OCD.
 
What's the best song for you to relax to?
I don't have a favourite song but anything that has positive catchy words.
 
If you could add one thing to ReachOut parents what would that be?
Tell parents to be true to yourself. Trust your gut instinct and when you feel it is getting to much go for a walk.
 
What's the one piece of advice you think kids wish all parents knew?
My son hates me nagging him eg to do his school work, practise his ERP, go to bed early etc. I think he would love it if I could find away to get him to do these things without the 'squawking' as he puts it.
 
Thanks! Any last comments?
Parenting a teenager is challenging. I am with our son 24/7 and there are times when I just want to run and hide but that doesn't last for long. I love watching/listening to him turning into a young adult. I feel the anxiety has made him more aware of the world in general in a good way.
Frequent scribe

Re: Member interview: Olliefinches!

Awesome to hear that he's got a great approach to dealing with his anxiety. Loved reading this.
Thanks
Highlighted
Super frequent scribe

Re: Member interview: Olliefinches!

Wow @Olliez-Finches! Really inspiring stuff ☺Loved reading your story 💙
Contributor

Re: Member interview: Olliefinches!

@Ollie-Finches

Good to hear that your son wants to live a normal life and you are helping him. 

@Sophie-RO

Can we have the link for ocd here?


New member? Introduce yourself here by answering our 5 question Q&A!
Contributor

Re: Member interview: Olliefinches!

Cheers guys - I love getting to know our members.

 

@readthemanual - while we don't have a page specifcally on OCD, it is in the anxiety family so here's a link to the content on "Anxiety and teenagers"

Super frequent scribe

Re: Member interview: Olliefinches!

Love your honesty - thanks @olliefinches
Mod

Re: Member interview: Olliefinches!

Thanks for sharing your story @Ollie-Finches. Loved hearing how your son has a positive attitude about not letting the OCD rule his life and the way you are supporting him.  

 

I would love to hear the strategies you are trying in regards to not "squawking" at your teen yet getting him to make better choices regarding school work and sleep time etc.  

 

 

 

 

 

Founding member

Re: Member interview: Olliefinches!

Hi Maggiemay,

 

I am still working on finding the right strategies in regards to my son's school work and bedtimes. If any one has any suggestions I would love to hear them.

 

Some things I have been trying lately are: 

 

- setting my alarm for midnight to wake me up to make sure he is in bed. All this has achieved is me getting cranky because he isn't in bed.

- waking him up at 9am regardless of what time he goes to bed. This is having an effect.

- son's physchologist has explained to me that it is in the delivery of what I say that will make a difference. I am trying hard to say things calmly yet sternly and this seems to be working.

- throwing the responsibility back on to him by telling him I have tried everything now it is up to him. I am a big softy but I am trying really hard not to do so much for him. Some people think this is easy but for me it is really difficult.

 

hope this helps someone.

 

 

Frequent scribe

Re: Member interview: Olliefinches!

Sounds like you should keep on with the things that are working @Ollie-Finches.... Like waking him up at 9am, and speaking calmly yet sternly.

Good luck challenging your parenting style to give him more responsibility and do less for him! I can relate, it's hard