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Prolific scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hey there @martian and a belated welcome to the forums! Thank you for signing up and sharing a little about yourself! 

 

Patience is an excellent tip to all parents! Though it can be tricky, having patience is a fantastic skill to have. Do you and your family have any favourite foods that you've tried? 

 

You mentioned that you're looking for advice on whether or not you're doing the right thing with your son. It can be hard to know if we are doing the right thing. If you'd like, you can make a thread here to share more about the situation for the community to provide support. 

 

We're here to listen Smiley Happy I hope you're having a good week! 

Active scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hi,

 

I'm new to the forum.

 

1. I have a 19 and 21yo. My 21yo who has mental help issues joked with me last week which hasn't happened in a long time and my younger one is always making e smile with his wit.

2. I try and take the dog out for a walk.

3. I'm going through a tough time as my 21yo son is having one of his downs, so it makes me very anxious.

4. Parenting is the hardest job in the world and you can only do your best.

5. Just spending time at home is the best thing about weekends at the moment. 

Active scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hi Everyone

Our 17 year older son doesn’t like to come home. Now his school started Exams block last Thursday , but his Exams today and tomorrow. Anyway he didn’t need go to school last Thursday, so I dropped him at the front school gate. I told him I don't go to his friend house. ( as I mentioned the first email, the boy smoking the weed and also parents letting him smoking I hated )anyway, our son didn't come home Thursday, Friday, Saturday stayed his friend house. On Saturday he called his dad and asked some money and meet at the beachfront to give the money, so my husband went. On Sunday my husband sent a message to our son, when do you come home? He said afternoon but untill 7 pm still not come home yet...sent a message again, he replied back”I will come home when I come home“ ended up my husband went to pick up. If his dad didn't go pick up he did not want coming home. Today he went to school afternoon for Exams still now still not back home yet. Tomorrow he has Exam starts at 8:40 am. Even come home he straight goes to his room and shut the door. sometimes don't say Mum, or Hey...if he comes out from his room just go to the Fridge and looking for food, but I see him looking for food so I told him we have dinner left for you, he says not hungry?? So I think if he not hungry why he looking for snacks.
Anyway, my husband and I don't know what can we do for him. ( we have tried everything we can, the soft way, the hard way and examples)

Thanks to all the parents.
Island
Casual scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

I am a mother of Four Children aged 14, 12, 10 and 6.

I like to play Team Sports to keep in the social loop. I play Tennis, Netball and Touch Football.

I have reached out to this forum as I am struggling with my 14 y.o daughter who suffers from Depression and Anxiety.

I have learnt to keep communication with your children open and be loving and norturing all the time.

I love weekends so yther kids can have friends over and play all day. 

Casual scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourslf here!

Hi Waldo, I am suffering from severe Disrespect from my 14 year old daughter who suffers from Depression and anxiety. She also has dabbled with self harm. She is a very confident bright talented young girl. I feel I have been there for her all the time and gave her what she wanted. Picked her up from places whenever she wanted.

Last time I picked her up I tried to have a conversation with her and she said I don't want to talk to you as she dabbed on her phone. I spoke about respect and she said I have to earn it and I haven't  I was so upset. I have now gone the other way and said if you can't respect me then I won't do all that I do for you. We are on day 4 of that and I am unsure if this is the best way. I do have a partner but we are basically seperated with him sleeping in a cabin separate from our house. I have no support from him. His moto is to give her what she wants when she wants.She's a teenager. What do you suggest. Do give MORE love or LESS?

Casual scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

I have twin 16 year old boys who can obviously be handfuls, I have one more rebellious than the other.
I’m proud of both of them for different reasons, one is driven and always helps out anyone in need, the other is very caring when someone is upset (except me)
When I’m stressed I walk outside and have a cigarette, take time to think about the best way to tackle the situation
The weekends of late I don’t look forward to as I’d like to do more with my kids but doing stuff with mum isn’t cool these days so quite often spend the weekend alone, even if they are home they watch tv or play on their phones so really may as well not be there at all
Casual scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourslf here!

I definitely feel where your coming from @Daynada05, you want to give your kids everything but then it gets to a point where they expect it and get angry when they don’t get what they want, I have a son who is currently grounded and has had electrical devices confiscated, he has been spoilt and that is my fault, it’s usually easier to give in and keep the peace but he disappeared for the entire weekend without so much as a text msg and that was so not like him, now he has an attitude to boot, he goes in waves of being great for a week or so then turns feral for a few days so I’ve gone tough love, I don’t have a partner so have no one to back me up but at the same time you don’t want to be too harsh, this parenting job is the hardest job of my life
Prolific scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hey there @Nero4554 and welcome to the forums!! It's great you got to share a joke with your oldest! It can be difficult when our loved ones go through tough times. I noticed that you've also made a thread, I hope the advice there has been helpful to you! Smiley Happy Spending time at home is a great way to spend the weekends Smiley Happy

 

Hey there @Island, thanks for the update! I'm sorry to hear that your son is struggling with his exams. It sounds like the biggest issue is that your son doesn't want to come home, is that right? I'm sure it's a feeling some parents can relate to and if you'd like, you can make a new thread about it here for other users to see easier. What do you think? 

 

Hello there @Daynada05 and welcome to the forums!! Smiley Happy

Team sports can be a great way of staying socialised! It can be really hard to know whether we're doing the right thing, have you spoken to any other parents, such as parents at team sports or of your children's friends, for advice? If you'd like, you can also make a new thread here and ask the community for advice about your daughter. What do you think? It sounds like you really care about your daughter and that is wonderful Smiley Happy

 

Hello and welcome to the forums @Twinmum! Your sons sound like wonderful kids Smiley Happy It can be tricky to give out tough love, especially without someone backing you up. Do you have anyone you can reach out to for support during tough times? 

Active scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hi @Jay-RO,

My son with issues is now 21, am I able to continue on this forum.

Thanks
Community Manager

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hi @Nero4554, great question - I have just replied to this question on the other thread here Smiley Happy

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