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Community Manager

Re: Hi I'm a mum rubysixseven

@MumEJ I hear you on that first point - it's so easy to get caught up in all the 'stuff'!

@Rubysixseven those are my favourite things about the weekend too - so thankful for sleep ins and coffee. 

 

A big welcome to all of our newest members @Tulips@Lizzy@ZenHippo@Worriedmum. Please do tell us a bit about yourselves by letting us know the following:

 

1. How old are your kids and what is one thing they've done recently that made you laugh?
2. Parenting can be really stressful - how do you try to keep those stress levels down?
3. What led you to ReachOut Parents today?
4. What's your top tip for parents whose kids are about to enter teenage years?
5. What's the best thing about weekends?

 

Active scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

1) 28, 22,18 my eldest sent me a link for a personalised number plate for me this morning

2) I would laugh with my kids, and tell myself that they are learning to be there own person, so if it is difficult they are just feeling their way and I am here to help them when they need it.

3)I am a coach, who helps people to feel better and enjoy amazing relationships with themselves and all the people who are around them.  My eldest child was a massive learning for me as he has a huge iq, very hyperactive and extreemly emotionaly sensitive.  He is also a master maniputater, so an expert on what buttons to push to get reactions from people.  He craved attention and found getting negative attention was easy to get.  I don't know if any of you know this but negative attention is far better than no attention.  there are a lot of studies to prove this.  Anyway I felt that no-one had a child who was as hard to parent as I did, and I often hated it when people said "i blame the parents"  I thought to myself i love my son and I am doing the best I can.  So having gone through many years of guilt and not feeling good enough, I learnt ways to change the story, and although now I am still not the best parent in the world I know I am a great parent.  So I joined the community to offer some help to others who may feel as I did,  and also if I can help in any way it not only helps the parent to feel better but also helps the children have a better future!

4) top tip Love your child unconditionally, be kind to yourself, its okay to get angry, but try to explain calmly why you are angry. be open and honest with your child

5)having time to spend with my friends, family

Community Manager

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hi @mumlittlehelper, love your top tips. They sound so simple, but they're just to easy to forget in the heat of the moment. Thanks too for joining in and supporting others on various discussions.

 

Welcome to @Tootsjac also. Please feel free to introduce yourself or answer the questions above!

Casual scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!


1. Hi. I'm Jac. My sons are 19 & 20. No laughing recently...exams. Not a lot of laughs atm.

2. I keep my stress levels down by seeing a psychiatrist for me, discussing my parenting problems & my own issues. I have depression. I take medication. I go to group therapy once a week to learn about how to deal with depression. (CBT) We learn things like comminucation styles ie. how to be assertive, not passive/aggressive; how to deal with anger; to think about our thinking/feelings/emotions/behaviours...aiming for a wise mind etc. I've started yoga once a week. I try not to drink too often. I try to connect with friends when I can. eg. Movies, dinners.

3. I'm reaching out for help because my youngest son doesn't talk to me. I don't know how to reconnect with him. He shuts me out. I try to provide opportunities to be with him but he doesn't even eat dinner with us. We are passing ships in the night. I get a 'hey' once a day, that's it. He walks away from me and is in his room or study 24/7. He suffers from undiagnosed, untreated OCPD and anxiety. He won't acknowledge this or seek help; he's in denial & won't discuss it.

4. My top tips for teenagers is LISTEN to them as often as you can. Don't talk, judge or give advice, just listen and keep communication open.

5. Weekends...nice not to be at work, but sometimes harder for me as I feel so alone. Rather be busy than feel the rejection and isolation, constantly being dismissed & ignored. If I can, I love a sleep in on w/ends Smiley Happy

Contributor

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hey @Tootsjac - so glad you found us and thanks so much for introducing yourself! Good on you for doing so much to look after yourself.

Sounds like you care about your sons very much, hoep that the other thread helps find you some options

Community Manager

Re: Hi I'm a mum rubysixseven

Welcome @Moronea and @Mumofthree, please feel free to introduce yourself here!

Community Manager

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Big welcome to our newest community members @mumtoteentwins@Chauny@hippychick@Bluey, and @Elena, feel free to tell us about yourselves in this thread!

Frequent scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

listening to you @Tootsjac.  i suspect i suffer from depression but havent yet done anything formally about it, probably should, so i appreciate hearing your thoughts & strategies.  my son is 12 and i am getting a glimpse into the future teen years and am listening attentively as i am seeing a bit of this (shutting down/internalising) creep in with him. it is a delicate dance i do with him to stay connected and keep lines of communication open & i need to get much better at it.  i do appreciate it when others further down the parenting journey are generous enough to say it how it is. thankyou.  sounds like you are doing a pretty awesome job to me even though some days i am sure it doesnt feel like it. <hugs>

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Community Manager

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

@JenniferS I like the way you talk about the 'delicate dance' of staying connected and openly communicating with your son. We're all just trying to make it to the pan-pacific championships without stepping on toes Smiley Tongue

 

Also, I think it's really brave that you acknowledge that you might have depression in your post, it's kind of one more step towards doing something 'formally'. I know personally that sometimes it seems so much harder to do something about the way you're feeling rather than just keep keeping on, particularly if you are coping OK. Does it feel like that for you too?

Community Manager

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Rolling out the welcome mat for @AnxiousMum, @sarahlee, @Katobyte, @Mummaa, @trying_hard and @taskon. We'd love to hear more about you, so jump in and introduce yourselves!

 

1. How old are your kids and what is one thing they've done recently that made you laugh?
2. Parenting can be really stressful - how do you try to keep those stress levels down?
3. What led you to ReachOut Parents today?
4. What's your top tip for parents whose kids are about to enter teenage years?
5. What's the best thing about weekends?