3 weeks ago
My boys are 9 and 11.
I am having a rough day, my 11yo has been butting heads with me for a while now trying to be the aplha. he is always arguing with me and gaming is always more important. He is always trying to control his younger brother as well.
I try to be a really positive person but this is really starting to get me down
3 weeks ago
3 weeks ago
Hello @Timdan_17 , welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing with us. Raising three teenagers sounds like you must have your hands full at times ! It is lovely to hear how involved and close you are with your children and their health. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that Mason has had, it is god that he has you and his other siblings for support. Your weekend family activities sound awesome and are surely great for family bonding time. You must have a very strong and supportive family system
3 weeks ago
Hi @Jeany and welcome to the ReachOut forums
I can really empathise with you with your 11 year old, I'm also the parent of an 11 year old and it can be a tough age at times, especially as puberty is starting to approach quickly! We've found tying the use of gaming devices to a list of chores that need to be done and house rules to be helpful, do you think that would work with your son? I think at this age they're often wanting to push boundaries a bit more, there's a lot of changes going on in their brains! The raising children network have a great resource on the types of changes that are happening with pre-teens/ teenagers brain development, you can check that out here if you're interested.
Parenting can be a tough gig at times, and it's important to look after yourself as well - do you have good supports that you can reach out to in your life, or time to prioritise a bit of self care for yourself? If you'd ever like to have a chat to someone one on one we do offer a free parents coaching service with experienced family counsellors - you can check that out here.
2 weeks ago
from one puzzled parent to another ,if we didn't have doubts we would be worse parents . You are making an effort, talking to others , reading up doing positive things.Sounds good to me.
Your son exerting himself , wanting some independence ,are all good healthy things as long as there is mutual respect between you both. In a perfect world the adults would have all the answers and all the patience needed. We would have flexible jobs that paid us well and would never be tired or grumpy.
My son is nearly 11 and already tries to exert probably a little more independence than he can safely manage. I guess he is training me for the teenage years to come. I just try to allow him enough to let him grow and try to maintain the mutual respect.When i just want to scream I use a trick i learned from the movie Cabaret , I go away from the house to the noisiest place I can find with no one around ,have a good long scream breathe in and go right , I can deal with this and go home.I am assuming the brace position early cheers
Hello @Erin25, thanks for sharing your story with us. I just wanted to quickly pop in to say that it sounds like you have been going through some tough times lately with your son. I am sorry to hear that you have been uncomfortable with some of your sons decisions, but like you mentioned, it is really awesome that he feels comfortable enough with you to discuss these things. I don't know if you are already aware, but we offer a one-on-one support service that you can access to speak to a trained counsellor for some advice and support. You might find it to be helpful for to talk to someone about what you have been going through (or in the future). Here is a link for some further information if you are interested. Feel free to let us know how you're getting on .
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