Hi @1sollarrae, thank you for participating and welcome to our forums! We are so glad that you have some ways of relaxing when things get tough - it is so important as a parent. Just so you know, I have seen your thread and I have sent you a reply there too
I’m 52 with 2 grown girls and a 17 yr old son and 2 grandsons. Been married for 31 years. My oldest had 3 attempts, she is BPD, and is finally doing well. My middle girl has had a rare autoimmune disease for 20 years. She spent a ton of time in the hospital and we almost lost her twice. My son sustained a concussion in 2018 and a suicide attempt 7 months after. So I’m no stranger to adversity and digging my heels in to help my kids. My husband has always said when your mom goes to the mat she wins and she will always be the first on the mat for you kids. I don’t sugar coat and I’m direct with my kids. I ask the hard questions so I can help them. Most of the time they come to me for help. Right now I feel like I’m treading water with my son. I can tell he’s having suicidal thoughts. I am living in the space of praying he’s alive many mornings. He will be seeing his therapist Tuesday and I’m hopeful. I also understand that if a person really wants to die they will find a way. We have had 2 suicides in our family, distant relatives to my son. I’m not giving up. I’m just a realist. I figured this is where I could unfortunately find people that would understand.
Hi Parenting and work can be stressful. Have you ever thought of NATURE for destressing and also bonding time with your children? I have read some research that suggests we need to have trees around us and perhaps doing something with your teenage daughter that is sensual and enjoyable might help her understand "sex" and dependence. Loving ourselves is just as important as receiving love and I hear your concerns. The clingyness seems to present to you as low self esteem or too dependent and you might be concerned she's being manipulated or used for sex without developing her own identity, necessary in teenage life. Teenagers are known for their risk taking behaviours because of their hormones and the physiological changes. This can make it hard. Teenagers can also seem more strong willed and egocentred and, in my experience, think they can rule the world. Losing the connection with her is something you might be feeling and participating in her life might seem difficult. She needs to know you're going to support her and love her unconditionally because you don't want her to drift off into relationships that might not have a trace of that sort of love that is right: caring and compassionate. You obviously care and clearly have an enjoyable time with your family. Let's hope your daughter who is discovering sex, can also reconnect with her playful nature in the family and have some fun too. Allegedly trees and nature walks can help improve mental health. Art and dance as well as singing can also help. I hope the boyfriend is willing to become a part of enjoying life and the building of an adult identity as part of your family values. This might help your daughter regain some independence and also develop in her intimate relationship. Thank you for sharing. I hope you can find some time, as a busy and much needed mother and worker, to do some activities for YOU! Some time to laugh, out your feet up and Say " I AM OK and my children are loved and great."
Hello, I have a 12 and 14 year old daughters. My ex and I have equal share however however when they are with him they are semi left to their own devices and my 14 year old gets up to no good. We have recently learnt she is smoking pot and hanging out with with a bad crowd that she will just not let go of. All she cares about is her friends and hanging out. Never comes home on time, always looses her things and is extremely messy and rude. She has now started sneaking out when her father goes to bed and when confronted just goes silent. She has no remorse and just promises it will not happen again and asks to go out again the next day. We tried taking her phone and iPad off her and all he’ll let loose so we have in and gave it back to her to spare the drama
Hi @Taylor, I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. Please know that you aren’t alone - a lot of parents face similar kinds of challenges. Coparenting can be so incredibly difficult, especially when varying parent styles come into play. It must be hard to watch your daughter’s behaviour change so drastically. I can tell that you care deeply for her and just want what is best for her.
It sounds like you have tried a few different things to try and get through to her but haven’t had a lot of success. I am wondering if you have thought of talking to a psychologist? They may have some tools and tips that you can try. At the very least, it may give you an outlet to vent and to feel supported.