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Active scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hi @Sadie
My daughter is also trialling meds and counselling. We have close communication and both daughters have signed up with Headspace who are running some teenage workshops on a range of life issues. Nice to meet you and glad we are not alone!!
Lee
Active scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hi!

 

I'm a newb here, but not a newb at being a parent. Smiley Happy I've always been a bit shy to do the 'online' thing.... I'd rather get personal in person! Smiley Happy

Anyway, I do like to join in a good chat, so here goes!!

 

1. How old are your kids and what is one thing they've done recently that made you laugh?

I have two kids - one a pre-teen, and one a late teen. The older one makes me laugh cos she's at that age where she *thinks* she doesn't need her mum anymore! We all know what THAT means?? Haha! I think it's funny, cos I felt the same about my own mum when I was her age. I don't take offense at all. I just hope she stays happy and healthy, and she knows I am here for her when she does need me. Plus I'm the sort of mum that drops by with something for the kids, or some flowers or choccies or some nicknack, for herself.

 

The younger fellow? - He makes me laugh every day!! Boys are so different, but keeps me active Smiley Happy He has a smashing sense of humour, and tries to make jokes. And I laugh at ALL of them!! Smiley Happy We roll on the floor in stiches... both of us together!


2. Parenting can be really stressful - how do you try to keep those stress levels down?

Sure can be stressful at times - especially when there is a battle of wills!

Making sure I look after myself - exercise, eat well, eat treats when I like, relax and snuggle with a good book or show when I can, write on bed after the house goes quiet at night, and organise little outings. I've become adept at outings that save the pennies, but I love treating them to a special movie night at the dendy, or sitting at a cafe. He loves that with his mum Smiley Happy


3. What led you to ReachOut Parents today?

I initially signed up as I saw this advert on the back of a maxi taxi in the city one day. Read the interesting articles, but never posted or anything.

What led me back here today? Well, I guess it's the season for it! No issues in particular at all


4. Whats your top tip for parents whose kids are about to enter teenage years?

Keep the lines of communication open. Really spend the years building up your relationship with them. Treat them like a young adult they are, but they need you so much still in their growing teen years - as a guide, as a parent. One who sets boundaries, who they can confide in. Keep guiding them with the standards and values they have come to depend on and grow up with in your family unit. Andn LOVE them to bits - in all their individuality! And, from experience, SUPPORT them in their journey.

Even if they take different paths - just support them without prejudice or judgement. After all, the world is a big place!


5. Whats the best thing about weekends?

Weekends are for gardening together, shopping together, going to the beach together, reading together. We do everything together. We even keep sports and music lessons to during the week, as weekends are definite family time.

Active scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hey @Beekeeper
You sound like a great Dad. Sorry to hear that the kids are further away...that must be difficult. Hope all is going well with your son at High School. Keep on that great parenting as I may need to ask advice one day!!
Lee
Active scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hi @mums_taxi
Glad to meet you!! Im new here and love being a Mum as much as you by the sounds of things.
I love the kids sense of humor too..I have two teenage girls and a teenage nephew so I feel young having them around!!
Look forward to discussing more with you.
Lee
Casual scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hi I think I did a quick intro previously. I have been reading some emails as they come in and love the connection that many have with their kids, wishing that I did with my 15 year son. He has really nose dived recently , hardly attending school, I swear he is high functioning autistic yet some now say they see traits but it's been a long hard journey. He hates me now, hardly speaks, but swears a lot at me , doesn't leave the house unless with big girlfriend who is so unstable, been hospitalised recently due to Suicide wishes and self harm and personality disorder and a string of abuse allegations to family . I do has little support too late, the only thing that keeps me strong is my daughter who is 12 and the will to be a great role model for her, my job and friends and yoga! Thank god for yoga.
I have no idea of the future as none of us do, yet I have exhausted every avenue to help my son now as he does not see he has a problem at all, shame as academically at school his results were so high and he was wishing to study ATAR next year. Sad lots. Any positive vibes out there, after such a long journey single handed with my son , the marriage didn't last , we separated 7 years ago, ex is a narcist , and he is now help but a hinder and still contravenes family orders and is not the best role model to my son to respect me, yet in public he acts like an amazing person.
Why do I write ? Guess it's a medium where some will understand, that there are many gaps in the support system and seems my son has fallen through most, sad as he is a kid still yet needs so much helps. Two weeks ago a meltdown an $ 1000 worth of damage, the support and advice is to call 000 , lol then what !!!! Crisis care ... Very sad.
Community Manager

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Welcome @mums_taxi, look forward to chatting with you around the forum!

 

Welcome back @Ginger, I just saw your original intro post. Sounds like it's been a tough journey over the past while. Would you like to start a new topic to discuss potential support options? You can do that here. It might make it easier for others to find your post and share their experiences.

Community Manager

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hello to new members @Cassandra@Hellatired@mrs_hook and @Rainbowz. Welcome, please tell us a bit more about what brought you to RO Parents.


Would love to know:
1. How old are your kids and what is one thing they've done recently that made you laugh?
2. Parenting can be really stressful - how do you try to keep those stress levels down?
3. What led you to ReachOut Parents today?
4. Whats your top tip for parents whose kids are about to enter teenage years?
5. Whats the best thing about weekends?

Active scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hi there,
Thanks for the welcome!
I logged in to RO parents because I've been having a bit of a rough time trying to be the best parent I can for my 16 year old daughter. I feel like we are riding an emotional roller coaster with her moods constantly changing within a moments notice. And I guess I'm just looking for hints, tips and reassurance that I really am doing all I can to maintain a good relationship with my daughter while trying to bring her up to be the awesome person I know that she is and will be.
About a week ago, I was having a bad day and so she decided to try to tickle me to cheer me up before she remembered that I am not ticklish. In doing so she made me laugh as she continued to try despite the fact she knew she wouldn't get far.
To keep my stress levels down and my daughters, we schedule regular binge nights of our favourite to show. Otherwise when she is at her dads, I schedule in some time with my boyfriend and we will go away together or stay home.
I guess I already covered the third question, so my top tip for other parents is? Well, I guess it would be to enjoy the good moments and hold onto them. Enjoy when they are being helpful, when telling you they love you and when they give you hugs, because it doesn't come around very often but when it does happen, it's pretty special and remembering those moments will get you through the tough ones. The best thing about weekends? We don't really get weekends together as I'm a shift worker. But I try to make my time off as valuable as possible. I spend as much time as I can with my daughter between shifts and on my days off. Well I guess that's us in a nutshell!
Casual scribe

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hi,

I am a mum to four young adults and a carer for my teen Nephew.  

My kids are now 27-son, 25-daughter, 23-daughter and 19-son. My nephew is 15.

 

My kids have all gone down different paths when it came to careers, but have all got such similar values and close bond with each other, as siblings.  No matter what, if one is in trouble they all come forward.  

The two youngest of my children suffer from depression and Anxiety, and so do I.

We try to support and share with each other and the rest of the immediate family, as well. 

My 19 yr old son has just started his second ever job, and I cant be any more happier, despite still being so nervous and anxious for him too. 

He finished yr 12 in 2014, got into his chosen Uni and went on to study there.

Getting him through his final 6 months of yr 12 was tough, but I would suggest always touch base with their teachers and leaders at the school fi you see your child struggling mentally and physically. His were fantastic.  

He started Uni in 2015 but deferred after a short 4 months and hasnt been back since. He hasn't worked for the last 12 months and I found it so hard getting him out of his room, to socialise and to even look for a job. His depression and anxiety was very high.  Through the support of his siblings and his dad and I.....he applied for a job as a "Linen Assistant" at the biggest hospital in Perth....and he loves it.  

 

With any of my children...I feel, to ease the stress, is to make sure you are available for each other, and if you are not, then team tag in the family and ask someone who is able to step up.  This has helped them gain their sibling bonds. I have brought them all up to understand that nothing is off topic...if you need to talk, you do no matter the subject.

This has been important for me, as I have found myself in a Private clinic twice over the past year with my mental health and my children have been there for each other, as well as for me. They were curious as to how the clinic worked, and I shared openly with them.

As for my nephew...it is a complicated case and I am struggling to get him through his teen years.  I became his female carer after his mum (my sister) passed away 12 years ago.

 

I found Reachout on my FB page...it was advertised and recommended for me to like...which I did Smiley Happy 

 

My top tip for parents whose kids are about to enter their teens......go with the flow!  

As a lot of the time you will be "winging it".  

Choose your battles and try to have empathy and understanding at how hard it is today for our teens to grow and florish into young adults.  Todays world is so fast paced and way too much of everything.....take it back to the simple things with your kids every now and then.....stay grounded.

Teach your kids the social skills needed and never forget to teach them to practise kindness and respect. Values are very important. Mostly...Talk, Talk, Talk to each other. Oh...and hugs....lots of hugs!

 

The best thing about weekends.....family time.  My husband is FIFO, so when he is home it is wonderful to have all the kids (3 have moved out), come home for dinner or a sleepover. 

Weekends are also a time for me to reflect on my job. I work with Kindergarten and they can be very challenging......but, I wouldnt change it for the world.

I also love my Mindful colouring and art card making, as well as my country walks.

 

Community Manager

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Welcome aboard @mum_of_four. If I was wearing a hat, I'd take it off to you for making it through five kids in one household! How are you managing your own health, if you don't mind me asking?

 

Reading about your son's experience looking for work, I was thinking you might have some good insights for our discussion topic on teens and part-time jobs.