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Prolific scribe

Perhaps off topic

So I sit and watch my 16 featherless girls running around the yard, some breaking the ice on a h2O container, some greedily eating the corn and the sun hitting the towels on the line steam pouring off them.

 

My 14 yr olds are soundly sleeping and my eggs are not being delivered hot out of the box. It's annoying me a lot! T2 SN is a budding chef no eggs, T1 adores the eggs and my neighbours are frantically knocking on my door - it's not sugar they want - just an egg.. even just 1..

 

T2 has walked out screaming I want to run away a long, long way.

 

This is my welcome every morning - it's been 2 yrs since she came off meds. I have finally come to the conclusion after coping like a trooper that she must go back on them. She has thrown one to many knives and we have had to put them out of reach..sighh

 

We have a new paed.. finally she's number 12 and is ringing me at home with updates and letting me know we are finally getting the care. My T2 has most of the letters after her name, she is a swimmer and a runner she is no more. Her knees buckle, her feet no longer work in the water.

 

The paed has demanded the school come to the party, they are not too interested but the girl cannot spell, her words are still back the front and she still manages to get A, B's.

 

She doesn't understand, she just doesn't process. She hears in the car - for a sentence of shoes on, hair brushed and remembers the last 3 words only. Toddler stuff.. I thought 5 was a turning point.

 

T2 is so demanding. She doesn't particularly talk but yells. Finally she has friends.. she judges consistently everything/one. Yet again toddler.. at least on her good days/hrs the light shines brightly she is so helpful and loving and consistent, I know it won't last - I hang in there until we both walk away.

 

She just drives me absolutely nuts, much like those 16 girls outside.

 

We also have 2 little roosters, fortunately she adores the biggest one. They still live in the house she cuddles Stormy every night it's one of the few things that really calm her down. He isn't crowing but it's coming and as he is an Orpington absolutely huge soon he will not fit in her lap - he is already in the 5th cage.. another sighhh..

 

It's only Saturday of a 4 day weekend, by the time it is over I will have had quads for 3 of those days. I look forward to 8.30 AM Wednesday 14th.. and I know I will make it because like all of us we power through, yet again!

Parent Peer Supporter

Re: Perhaps off topic

Not off topic at all @Lily17, it's all relevant in the forum, as it is here for us to share about our kids, but also to share about ourselves and I have certainly utilised the forum in both ways. Sometimes we need to unload to help us keep going in the tougher times.  

 

I hope the chooks have started pushing those eggs out! Fresh eggs are the best! We used to have 3 chooks in our suburban backyard, but renting they couldn't keep moving with us. I really miss them. We used to have Henny, Penny and Nancy No Feathers, as she came to us missing a lot of them. We also had a rabbit, a cat that moved in with us, and we seemed to be a dog refuge for lost dogs until we found their owners! I loved that place!

 

The teenage years in our young humans can be very trying and tiring. Fingers crossed for you that number 12 paediatrician works out for you and your daughter. We, as parents, know our kids best, and if you think T2 needs to go back on meds, I'd push for it. When we changed to a new psychiatrist, she wanted my daughter off all meds, which we tried, but it wasn't in my daughter's best interests. I had to have knives, scissors, razors - anything and everything sharp, hidden away as they were being used as weapons and self harming tools. I'm with you ...sighh! It's so hard, for many reasons!

 

I'd be making a complaint if the school won't come to the party. It's horrible, as I don't like having to do it, but I had to kick up a few stinks while my daughter was at school (she's now in distance ed). I made the mistake of trusting that application be done as promised by the school, which they forgot about, seeing my daughter not attending any educational facility for 3 terms last year. It was the last thing they had to do to be free of us, but they FORGOT!?! She's now engaged and doing the schoolwork, but it's trying having her home all the time (I say as a loving mum). "Mu-uum" gets a bit grating at times! Why can't it just be "mum"? Or someone else all together?! ...sighh (love it, can I borrow it?)

 

Your daughter sounds like a smart cookie. Has she been diagnosed with dyslexsia or anything like that? Could explain the spelling and processing? I bet you hang out for the good days/hours. I know I do. I'm lucky today, I'm not feeling good, and mine came out offering me a cup of tea and panadol. She lives a lot in her bedroom, but told me to call her if I need anything. The knowing it won't last kinda spoils it a little, as the thought is always there - when is it going to sour, and seemingly undo the good we've just had.

 

My daughter came home from work the other night, not happy after a very long shift, so shouting at me. I mentioned to her yesterday that it upsets me that she takes out her anger on me. She yelled back at me, "well I'm sorry you're the only one here for me to take it out on." LOL. The thinking is so mind blowing sometimes, laughing to myself is my only response!

 

Hang in there - 2 days to go! As you say, you'll make it. It amazes me the strength and tolerance that we somehow find within us to keep putting one foot in front of the other. All admiration to you, and a big 'I hear you!'.

 

Thank you for sharing. I'm certainly not glad that you are going through these troubles, but I for one appreciate communicating with parents who are experiencing similar things to me. 

Highlighted
Prolific scribe

Re: Perhaps off topic

@Lily17 I hear you ... 

Are both your Teens girls? Age 14 twins, sorry i got confused lol ...

I often wonder how we parent at times, and also my friends say the same about my journey ... i let go of the HOW , as I say its the WHY which is my energy to continue and when the answers are not clear its these moments where i learn to love some more unconditionally.  Part of this journey has made me reflect and put myself into the equation some more, if only to be in that position to continue.  I am blessed to have found yoga and mindfulness to assist that journey.  It resonates in the house!!  

I was unclear , did you mention what the medication was given to your daughter for?  I hear her achieving A and Bs despite a processing "disorder" and spelling challenges.  It sounds hopeful to achieve academic results however i do feel your wish for the whole child to be supported, is there any diagnosis i wonder?  This certainly would give a starting point for the school to be able to assist further either with applying for funding or structuring an appropriate level of support.

 

Prolific scribe

Re: Perhaps off topic

Yes girls, 14, twins.. T1, T2.

T2 was given Ritalin for 2 yrs it worked but then we changed our environment and she was off meds within a fortnight.

That was 2014, now the paed and psych are putting her back on it. She doesn't know and will have a major tantrum during the appmt.  So looking forward to it NOT I will pay for it tenfold and I know the police will be paying a visit.

 

These results that she gets is beyond me.. I know that she copies a lot from her twin and friends but in the marks I also have to look at is her percentages which are different again - Vic system. I just get so confused I see her struggle at home because she just doesn't get concepts and she doesn't understand some things she learns. I am a huge advocate but it takes it out when arguing with the Ed dept. The current school has not helped as the previous paed put neuro deficits, no one understands therefor no help.

 

I have a paed now who is very intensely forcing the school to deal with the issues. She was diagnosed with cerebral palsy - one that most don't have, ADHD at 7 along with ADD, ODD, and 4 wks ago SPD.

 

We are getting coverage with particular issues with various health providers so in the system but it is so draining. I have to take her med files for the last 14 years to every appmt.

 

However, my real time for me is doing Chi. It is done in the pool at physio because my balance is soooo bad but I am starting to breathe more and drown less. I actually love being in the heated pool and then stretch out and do a few laps after class. A great bunch of ladies go, the instructor tells me I am improving every wk and it makes me feel great. The kids get home and comment I obviously didn't drown today either.. they arevery supportive!!

Prolific scribe

Re: Perhaps off topic

Hey @Lily17. This situation is incredibly complex and I hope you're proud of how well you're handling this, even though it's tough.

 

Your post about practising Chi and just having some time and space to stretch out in the pool and it got me thinking. I am wondering what support you have for engaging with the school and even just day to day life at home. Do you have respite breaks where someone else takes over for a spell, or a carer's advocate to help you get the school to pull their weight? Would you be interested in some case management or support to take the load off? 

 

If you're interested in a little backup, I think you might be eligible for some support through Carer's Australia. To find out a little more you can find your local branch's number by clicking here.

 

 

 

 

Super contributor

Re: Perhaps off topic

For some reason your girls @Lily17 and @taokat's daughter always make me laugh.

The line about you not drowning, very funny.

Everything else aside, ya gotta love a funny kid.

 

Do you write for enjoyment @Lily17? You have a lovely turn of phrase. Have you ever considered getting your experience with the two Ts and the chickens down on paper?

I'd read it.

 

Prolific scribe

Re: Perhaps off topic

Kids are not so free entertainment when they are breathing. I have a few things published when the girls were much younger. A primary school they went to was very accepting of having a hen visit. Before we left I wrote a little book for the preppies on Zoe goes to School.. and comes home with her big sisters in their school bag..

 

I try to use humour with the hope people enjoy a healthy non thinking MH moment to release some of their distress. Most specifically MH and elderly patients.

 

I would have to get the hard drive and search for stories about kids, chooks, life..

 

 

Parent Peer Supporter

Re: Perhaps off topic

I agree @Ngaio-RO, gotta love a funny kid. I'm glad mine makes me laugh - I'd go loopy otherwise.

 

I love both your comments about not drowning too @Lily17. Great to have the kids support hey! Lol. Maybe you could start a blog? I'd read your writings too.