Sharing and Caring
10-30-2017 11:16 AM
Or is it Sharing and Caring??
I have said this to my dog as she hogs the heater - she shuffles 2cm and I keep reminding her of those 3 words until her paws are resting.
When we find out we are pregnant we stop eating our cheese, drinking our alcohol to have a healthy baby. We start stressing.
Bub is born not sleeping, not feeding no eye contact not keeping up with the Jones next door kid. We are stressing - bad parents, can't cope and not communicating with all of us who struggle in silence.
Toddlers talking or not, milestones not met, no sleeping, running away - yeah we were in such a hurry for that milestone, talking OMG not talking yet - yeah stress, stress and more. Start talking and they never shut up - in a hurry for that one too. More stress and having to keep up in the playground - exhausting endless tantrums. Poor parenting god yes!
Off to school, platts don't match, socks don't match (the washing machine has kindly eaten them again) friends well they were yday but today they don't like me and the crying - were we in a hurry for school and environmental change and whinging, and tired and not eating their lunch- it took hours to prepare instead of bad parenting and packets of nasty food according to the parent police.
Stress, stress and my child can't do their homework I'll shut them up by doing it myself the teacher won't really notice- it is now 2 am and I am still awake because I want the best for my child, distressed from exhaustion..
Along comes the 9 yr old the attitude starting to rear it's head, so stressful, pre puberty - a quick taste of the future.. so stressful what are we going to do???
Teens its where most of us are at.. we are exhausted, feel unloved, not the priority just thrown in the junk pile along with the dolls and trucks, where did our babies go??
Who is this thing we have in our house, demanding, selfish, swearing, violent and eating OMG we need another job to keep the cupboards full. Stressed? Well yes and no. Confused more -yes than no, hated - definitely, broke - always, loud music - we start to lose our hearing, listening - a foreign word, always right - in their own minds we forget we have rights.. Screaming - headphones were invented for parents not kids.. disrespect - I'm perfect - you are wrong, you don't care and I hate you.. That hate word so destructive for our wellbeing. MH well we have definitely become mental, we are distressed, we take up alcohol at 4pm in time for the bewitching hr to cope. I am so mentally unwell at times because they get into my head warning me I shouldn't be within 1000 km of them. Stressed, where can I check myself in to escape from these things that have taken over...
Sound familiar?? We are stressed and distressed, our coping mechanisms lost out the day they became their own individuals. Our lives amount to miscommunication, anger which is really sadness, feeling unloved, overwhelmed with our poor parenting performance and societies confirmation as failures. In all of this listening, communicating, caring and struggling along is what we all do, but then again all it's stressful and we blame ourselves for not knowing what to do.
Reaching out is not something we do easily, nor do we talk, breathe or cry. Our heads are full of the mess we allow to do 360's to takeover so basic parenting skills are forgotten. Sharing our crap is caring for ourselves.