11-05-2018 10:48 AM
Back talking alot. Not wanting to do chores. Still sleeps in bed with us (I hate it).
When i try discipline him taking stuff away he doesn't care. Spanks dont matter no more.
His father babys him alot which is why I think he acts the way he does.
When I confront his dad about his behaviour."hes just a kid" ??!!!
He cant clean his small room plus
Do his homework without a big loud fuss.
That's all I ask his homework done
Keeps up with room clean and pick up his stuff wen he is done using.?
Yet he wants treats candy new toys
Which he gets from his dad and I hate cause he doesn't deserve.
I try try be good to him helping him and wen I do I'm mostly doing all the work and if I dont help nothing get accomplish I feel like I'm a bad step mother mad all the time !!!
What should I do?
Everytime I talk to his dad he thinks I'm over reacting.
But when his dad deals with his son he acts like hes doing nothing wrong that he is a sweet angel. Ughh I'm losing my mind.
He doesn't sleep in his room idk
He has a small bed next to ours but by midnight hes in our bed.
Any help advice plz?
11-21-2018 02:36 PM
Hi there @Carrisal23,
How are things going? I am sorry for the late response.
It sounds like the situation with your stepson is frustrating for you. Aside from his father, is there anyone else you can talk to about his behaviour?
Although I'm not a mother myself, I can tell that you are doing your best to be a good stepmother to your stepson. While all this is going on, do you take some time out of your day to take care of yourself? Self-care is important and can help us recharge and relax before doing things. What do you think?
11-21-2018 02:53 PM
Hey @Carrisal23 welcome to the ReachOut forums!
It sounds like you're pretty concerned about your stepson, he is very lucky to have you
There are a couple of articles on the ReachOut site that you might find helpful like this one about blended families or this one about rules in a blended family, they do refer to teens a bit BUT you could give it a try and see if anything stands out for you
There's also this one about being the ultimate step-parent that talks a bit about finding things that you can both do together.
It sounds like you've tried to discuss the topic with his father too which is awesome that you're opening the lines of communication between you both to come up with a solution! However not so awesome and pretty frustrating that he thinks you are overreacting, has this been his only response when you've brought it up?
Jumping back to the finding things to do together - are there any activities he enjoys that you could make a plan to do together? Making a plan to do something fun and enjoyable together might even be a way to help enforce chores, for example if he completes his chores the fun plans are a go and if he doesn't they are put on hold until he completes them?
Making chores a joint family activity might be another approach, I remember as a child my parents would do the dishes with me eg I would wash the dishes as one of them dried them or visa versa. I would flat out refuse to do my chores and my father would say something like "come on it'll be done in no time if we do it together then we can watch blah blah on the tv together". I remember things like gardening, washing the car, setting the table were all done the same way together which made them kinda fun, do you think taking a similar approach would work with you guys?
Let us know how you're going!