15 year daughter being banned from bf

[Mommyof3girls]

I am the parent of a15 year old girl. She has been dating her bf for 11months now. They have had a very slow going and conservative relationship. My daughter sustained a concussion about 2 months ago and is now suffering from post concussion syndrome. She has had some very bad thoughts in the past two weeks and we had admitted to hospital for treatment. During all of this her bf expressed suicidal thoughts and was admitted to the hospital for treatment.

now his parents are not allowing them to contact each other at all. They are isolating him in their home with no phone access and internet access. 
they both were just released from their respective hospitals and ended up having counseling at the same day and time. They saw each across the room and he would mouth words to her when his mother was away or her back turned. 
they want to support each other but the parents are not allowing it. My daughter reached out to his mom and replied to me saying she wants zero contact for everyone.

I am worried that both of these two kids are in a difficult spot and they need each other and this separation will cause major problems for one or both. How can help this situation 

[Portia_RO]

Hi @Mommyof3girls 

First off, I'm very sorry to hear that your daughter is having a tough time and has been in hospital. I hope that she is recovering well. 

I'm also sorry to hear that she hasn't been able to see her boyfriend. It sounds like they're both trying to navigate some tough times at the moment, and to not be allowed to see each other on top of that sounds even harder. I can see that you're quite amenable to them contacting one another and supporting each other, so it must be frustrating that his parents are standing in the way of this. What's it been like trying to explain their choices to your daughter and support her while she can't see her boyfriend? 

You said that your daughter has reached out to her boyfriend's mum, and that she wanted zero contact between them. Are you in contact with her yourself? 

I also wanted to check in and ask how you're doing. I know that having a teen in hospital can be an extremely stressful experience, and that trying to negotiate different parenting styles can be difficult as well. Do you have anyone to talk to while you're trying to support your daughter? 

[Mommyof3girls]

I had contact with the mother but she since gotten very angry at me and thinks I blame her. I explained the issue for my daughter is due to head injury. She is not willing to sit and talk with me. Which i feel we should because isolation is the worse thing to do to for a child in crisis. 
I want to let her know that we are a support system for each other. I have a great group of friends and family who all support us and myself.

I am worried for the bf due to the lack of communication and some strange things that transpired prior to both of them being admitted to the hospitals . Yes 

[Portia_RO]

@Mommyof3girls that's really challenging that she is not willing to sit down and have a chat. It sounds as though you care about both your daughter and her son's wellbeing, so it's unfortunate that she's not willing to hear what you have to say and open up a dialogue about how your teens and families can support each other. Nonetheless, I'm glad to hear that you and your daughter have a strong support network around you, it makes all the difference when things get hard.  

You said that some strange things transpired before their hospital admissions. Do you feel comfortable telling us a bit more about what happened? Are you concerned for your daughter's boyfriend's safety in any way? 

[Mommyof3girls]

He had called the Sunday evening before his admission on Wednesday asking me to take him to the hospital. We were in the phone and then all I hear is yelling and the phone goes dead. I text him asking if he ok. About an hour later she calls and says he is fine , proceeded to tell him tell her you are ok , tell her you are fine. And he says I am fine and she we are talking now you have nothing to worry about. Then he Out of school Monday and Tuesday, so when I see him Wednesday I tell him if he ever needs anything call me and I asked if he was ok and he geared up and said I am fine

[Philippa-RO]

@Mommyof3girls it sounds like you're really worried about your daughter's boyfriend and I wanted to clarify what it is that's your main concern for him?

For example, is it that he isn't able to speak to your and your daughter, or is it that you're concerned he's not safe or isn't having his needs met at home?

[Mommyof3girls]

I am concerned for his mental health and physical safety 

[Emily-RO]

Thank you for sharing this with us @Mommyof3girls 

It sounds like what you are going through is very difficult at the moment and we're glad that you can talk about it here. I am sorry to hear about the situation and it sounds like a very difficult time for your daughter and her boyfriend.

I want to check in and make sure that you are supported during this difficult time. Do you have any supports for yourself? (e.g. friends, other family or professional support). Would you be open to us exploring some options with you? There are some helplines for parents that may be supportive. They also may be able to give you some tips on how you may approach the situation with your daughter's boyfriend.