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Co parent with an abusive ex

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Co parent with an abusive ex

Hi thank you for your advice.

I left the ex a few years back and have 2 teenage sons. In 2015 he was violent towards me in front of the boys.

As the boys are teenagers and they love their dad I have agreed to 50/50 share care, however I struggle with communication with the father.

I do not engage in verbal communication, especially as my words are twisted and he gets easily abusive.

When the boys are with their father, they barely communicate with me and when they come to my house, they are angry.

They inform me of what is being said and scorn me for not talking to their dad or say “bad things” about him. However, they tell me how he lies and twists words.

I am very confused and feel very sad for
my children and at the same time don’t know what to do.

Are there any other mothers out there that co parent with a covert narcissist? Does anyone know of any books that are helpful with this?

Any help will be great!


Re: Co parent with an abusive ex

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Hi @Katherine2022 , I am so sorry to hear that you went through that a few years ago. That must have been extremely scary for you and your two boys. It sounds like you’re going through a really tough time dealing with your ex and you are worried about the effect this is having on your two sons. Sounds really overwhelming to deal with. With everything going on, I wanted to check-in and ask if your sons are safe? Have they also experienced violence from their father? 

It might be helpful for you to contact the 1800RESPECT hotline, they offer free and anonymous telephone counselling for those impacted by family and domestic violence and abuse (which includes verbal violence). This service is available to you 24/7. 

Relationships Australia is another resource that may be worth looking into, they offer a range of services, programs and articles that could be useful to you. 

I am really glad you reached out for support today, we are here for you.

Ps. I edited your post slightly according to our community guidelines, which you can read about here if you like Smiley Happy