08-21-2023 01:54 PM
08-21-2023 04:38 PM
Thank you for being so honest and for sharing this with us. I am sorry to hear that you and your daughter have both been experiencing such an incredibly difficult time lately. We are really glad that you have found us and have been able to reach out for some support.
It sounds like you have been doing everything you can to support your daughter through this and she is so lucky to have you. Even with everything going on for yourself, and your own grief, it sounds like you are still doing all you can to help her through this.
I was wondering what supports your daughter currently has and whether she might be accessing any professional supports? It sounds like even getting her along to these sessions might be really challenging right now.
I am also mindful of the impact that this must be having on you. How are you going with all of this? Do you have any supports around you to help with your daughter, as well as for yourself? It is important that you are also receiving all the support available to you.
Also we have just sent you an email to check in, can you please keep an eye out for it?
Take care and we hope to hear back from you soon.
08-28-2023 08:23 PM - edited 08-28-2023 08:24 PM
a month ago
Hi Dolphin Lover,
I'm so sorry to hear what you and your daughter have been through, and commend you for coming here for help and connection. I haven't experienced the suicide of anyone close to me, but I keep meeting people who have lost someone close to them to suicide, including parents. How do you make sense of it all if you have a mind that does try to make sense of the unexplainable? Ending the pain of it all through any means available must be tempting and even feel like the only way. I don't know if there are any support groups or organizations for families who have lost someone to suicide and Lifeline is a possible starting point. No doubt someone here might know of something. If there isn't something, there needs to be.
Have you spoken to your daughter's school? Is she still at the same school? Do you know any of her friends and is she connecting with them?
I've written a reply to another parent and recommended a book called "Atomic Habits" and mentioned some of our family's experiences dealing with tough times. I have been living with an acute illness for 17 years and to be honest have no idea how I'm still here and I have frequent close calls. It is really hard living with a really hard unchangeable truth and it can be too hard to even think about moving forward. Breathing can be hard enough. I don't know if there's someone in your lives, a special person who can just love on you both and somehow counteract the awful horror of what's happened. I thought a friend's husband had died of a heart attack but he had suicided. She doesn't talk about it and I found out what happened through someone else. I do what I can.
Lastly, I just wanted to tell you that I did Lifeline's Suicide Intervention Course - ASIST - because I was picking up my daughter and her friends late at night and there had been a few local suicides and her friend had attempted a few times. I put the ASIST sticker on the back of my phone. Most people probably don't know what it means but a young man had shared that his friend had taken his life a year ago and I could express my concern about suicide by showing him that sticker and it had weight with him.
Lastly, you might've thought about this but keep a close eye and be kind to yourself around special dates especially the first anniversary of his suicide. The young man I mentioned had raised his friend's suicide because the anniversary was coming up.
Sending love and hugs,
PS Don't know if you can access a support animal somehow. We have three dogs to get us through our situation. I have a dog on my lap right now and my keyboard is balanced across the top of him. Maybe your daughter could walk someone's dog or the school might be able to put you in touch with someone.
a month ago
4 weeks ago - last edited 4 weeks ago
Hi @dolphinlover it's nice to hear from you. It must be incredibly hard on you for your brother-in-law to blame you for what happened on top of the grief you are already experiencing. I can only imagine the strain this is adding to a heartbreaking situation. It sounds like your family can only support from a distance too, but it's at least comforting to hear that you have some friends closer to home. How have you been doing recently with the supports you have? And how has your daughter been?
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