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Need advice in regard to adult daughter troubles

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Need advice in regard to adult daughter troubles

Casual scribe

Need advice in regard to adult daughter troubles

My 38 year old daughter and her 10 year old son live with me. She moved back home when she was pregnant. My daughter and I share physical custody of my grandson. The legal custody is shared between my daughter, the dad and I. Needless to say my daughter has made some bad choices in her life which caused this.
She did well for approx 7 years.
On to the current issue I'm seeking advice on. My daughter started seeing a man early this year. I find out he's a crack dealer and she starts smoking crack. The first three months of their relationship, my daughter steals approx $2000. through my PayPal account. I shut that down. She then steals $850 through my cash app. That is shut down. I then find 5 of my paper checks were taken from the back of my checkbook. I have canceled my checking account and opened a new one. She has access to nothing of mine now. I was stupid, to trusting and didn't think she would turn back to her former ways.
The only way I can recoup any money is to press charges. She could receive 15 years in prison. I don't know what is best for my grandson and for her. My actions will effect the rest of their lives.
She told me she doesnt need rehab and is going back to counseling.
I don't know what the right thing to do is. My heart hurts over all this.
If anyone has any advice I'd appreciate hearing it.

Prolific scribe

Re: Need advice in regard to adult daughter troubles

Hi @Safehorses and welcome to our online community!

I'm sorry to hear that you have been put in such a horrible situation and that you are hurting so much right now. I can only imagine how hurt and lost you are feeling right now. I can hear just how much you care about your daughter, which is so lovely to hear. As this is such an awful situation to be in by yourself, I was just wondering what kind of supports you have around yourself right now? Is there someone that you feel comfortable talking to about this?

I was also wondering what kind of things you do for yourself when things get hard? How do you take care of yourself?

We're always here for you.

Prolific scribe

Re: Need advice in regard to adult daughter troubles

Message contains a hyperlink

Hi @Safehorses 


I just wanted to check in to see how you're doing today? You are coping with so much, and I imagine you must be feeling really worried about your family, as well as yourself.


You've mentioned your grandson lives with you as well, I'm wondering how he has been coping with everything? Do you feel like he is safe? It must be really tough trying to protect him from what his mum is going through at the moment. 


We are an Australian-based organisation, so we're limited in the support services we can provide. However, I found this website that might be useful to find some support in your area.


I can tell by your post how much you really care about both your grandson and your daughter, and that you want to do the best for everyone involved. That is really commendable. If you feel like you would like to talk to someone about how you're feeling and get some extra support, have a look at some of the suggestions here.


Casual scribe

Re: Need advice in regard to adult daughter troubles

Thank you so much for reaching out and checking on us.

I'm doing ok.
My grandson is definitely safe here. He is my main concern and main focus. If I ever felt he was in harm's way, there is no question about me removing him from that harm. He is a innocent child and innocent of his mom's actions.
I appreciate you asking if he is safe. So many children are not safe and suffer at the hands of people how should be the ones protecting them.
I will look into the suggestions.

Thank you again.

Re: Need advice in regard to adult daughter troubles

@Safehorses thank you so much for letting us know that your grandson is safe; we're wishing you all the best with the challenges you're facing. 

Please feel free to reach out to us any time if you'd like to talk or need support - we're here for you.