12-02-2021 01:10 AM - last edited on 12-07-2021 01:47 PM by Philippa-RO
Hi, I’m a single dad of teenage twins. Their mother passed away from terminal cancer few months ago. Me and their mother have already been separated months before she passed away. After their mother passed away, my kids became distant towards me, they used to stay, sleep over, and spend quality time together. But now they only come for dinner and then leave.
My problem is my son’s mental health, I been in touch with his school councillor and discuss the issue of my kids, not attending classes. To me it seems like they’ve given up on things. Specially my son, he stays up all night, video playing games till the morning, and sleeps day till it’s almost dinner time.
I got intouch with a gp to talk to him, but my son insisted for me not to be included while he was talking to the doctor. He is only 17 and already the system thinks he’s an adult. I called the gp and asked him what they talked about and discuss his mental health plan, and he won’t divulge any information whatsoever, due to the patient doctor confidentiality. But I told him, he’s only 17, and he flat will not tell me anything.
All he said was, he referred him to a psychologist to get in contact with him and discuss his issues further and work on his mental health plan. Are public health this slow in processing kids with mental health issues?
As a father, it really pains me to see my kid going on a downward spiral, I do understand they are still grieving from their mother’s death. But all these things happening to us, specially with Christmas approaching, it’s hard to celebrate.
Are there any other organisations that might be able to help us
12-02-2021 04:04 PM - edited 12-02-2021 04:07 PM
Hi there @jaq021404
Thank you for sharing what is happening for your family at the moment. Times of grief can be so hard to navigate, especially when everyone's experience of it is so different. I can imagine it would be hard to see your son's going through such a heart-breaking time and noticing their distance.
After reading your post I felt it was important to acknowledge your compassionate and proactive approach to your son's mental health. It sounds like you're ensuring all the right support people are involved. While it must be difficult not knowing what was discussed with the GP it sounds like your son did open up enough to get the referral to the psych.
Wait-lists are tough, and we've noted lots of parents sharing similar concerns, especially during covid. In the meantime, I wonder if your son would feel comfortable getting support on a digital mental health space?
You mentioned he spends a lot of time gaming and reaching out to mental health services in a digital space is often helpful for young people, especially when waiting for face-to-face supports to come through. If you think this is worth looking at we'd be more than happy to send through some resources.
One organisation I thought might be helpful to your family is Feel The Magic - they provide support to young people experiencing grief. Let us know how you go with them and if you need any other suggestions or support.
12-03-2021 01:18 AM
Thank you so very much for your response to my post. As a father I’m worried and deeply concerned for my sons mental well being.
I saw him today, him and his sister spent time with me, we had dinner together at my place. And we discussed things about his psychologist appointment. His response was, there’s nothing yet, other than they texted him his case number.
I am open to any suggestions to other organisations that might be helpful, and yes I’m going to contact Feel The Magic and see what they can do to help with my sons problem, and again thank you.
12-03-2021 01:08 PM
Hi @jaq021404 I'm glad we can support you through this, and I'm really feeling for your family.
You sound like a loving father, and while your son mightn't know how to communicate how he feels right now, I'm sure your presence brings him comfort in this time.
I'll share some digital mental health services that your son might find helpful while waiting for an appointment.
Feel free to let us know how you go with those organisations, and please reach out whenever you need.
12-05-2021 12:23 AM
Yeah I try to be a good father, but it’s hard, specially with the circumstances we’re in. I know we’re not the only family dealing with the same issues.
I just hope I can get proper help for my son.
Thanks again for all the information you’ve given me. I will check them out and contact them, see if they can help in some way
12-05-2021 03:28 PM
Hello @jaq021404 , it sounds like you are a really caring and supportive father, and I’m sure your son appreciates you being there for him. I hope that you find the resources to be helpful. Feel free to keep us updated here on the forums!
12-19-2021 05:22 AM
12-19-2021 03:50 PM
Hey @ALondon , it’s so lovely to hear about how supportive you are of your son and his needs. It sounds like you have created an open and nurturing environment for him. As mentioned in my other response, please feel free to start a new thread to share your story if you’d like to .