Weekly Wellbeing: Quality Time

[Bre-RO]

It can be really easy to get swept up in the chaos of life - work, appointments, school and extended familial responsibilities. As hard as we try to fit everything in sometimes good quality time with our loved ones falls to the bottom of the list. 

Quality time is great for catching up on non-serious issues, learning more about your teen and how they are changing. It can also be a good chance to role model healthy habits and encourage both of your well-being. 

I thought we could use this weeks well-being activity as a time to share ideas and tips for quality time. To get us started here are some of my thoughts: 

• Long car drives/mini road trips can be a good way to have long talks together, sing along to the radio and make memories. I remember I always opened up to my mum about what was going on for me on long trips together. Later on in life when I did face-to-face youth work, car time was always the best time to have meaningful chats. 
• Cooking/Baking together. This is usually more fun when it's not for dinner but getting a special treat cooked for the family. It can also be a nice time to talk about nutrition, food and the importance of eating well. 
• Exercise together. Setting and achieving goals together is really rewarding and we can all use some of those lovely happy hormones you're flooded with after a great workout. 

There are also some examples here of relaxing activities you could try with your teen as well. 

Activity

Share a memory of quality time spent with your teen and how that strengthened your relationship?

Do you have some tips for quality time activities? 

[PapaBill]

Hi Everyone

I find the best way to spend time with my  older teens is to do chores together.

Once a fortnight we have an hour or two doing house hold chores.

Cleaning, Gardening, home improvement it doesn't matter so much what it is as doing it together.

The upsides of this are many

• Time together
• Learning life skills
• Making them feel valued for their contribution to the home
• Avoid Papa getting stressed out by the mess
• Oh and did I mention a clean living room and carpets ?

The things that make this work for us are

• Keep it to an hour - max 2 hours 
• Have it at an agreed time
• Agree the time at least 36 hours in advance
• Be communicate why it is important they participate (see upsides above)
• While Being grateful for their help also let them know the schedule is negotiable participation is not

It was funny last weekend when I tried to add an extra task (cleaning the windows) with a spay bottle that goes on the end of the hose.  

I was trying to tell my daughter it would be fun .. she just looked down her nose at me and said "Dad we are too old to tricked into doing chores by you telling us it will be fun"

Oh well it worked for a few years 

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @PapaBill,

I really enjoyed reading through your post- it sounds like you have found a way to spend time with your teens that both promotes responsibility and is sustainable over time 

You mentioned a few really key strategies such as having an agreed time. I'd be interested to know if this is something you started with, or worked out over time was more effective? 

[PapaBill]

Hi @Jess1-RO 

Most of the strategies evolved over time.. specifically the time scheduling and limiting of activities.

Both myself and children benefit from know what is happening in advance.

Others including

• communicate why it is important they participate and
• Being grateful for their help
• letting them know the schedule is negotiable participation is not

are ones I have used since they were tiny and I was explaining to them why the toys had to go back in the box when they were going to bed.