09-30-2021 01:55 AM
09-30-2021 01:59 AM - last edited on 10-01-2021 01:00 PM by Emily-RO
Sounds like they are one in the same. Lol. Seriously though.... I get it, they love their kids. I have never said to my hubby, don't love your son. Vacations are off the table because we can never go without him. Huby gets him almost every holiday, so those suck. I can never spend time with my mom and dad during a holiday without stepson tagging along to family events on my side of the family where most people don't even know who this kid is. I have to sacrifice two weekends every month to do double the work when he's here. Double the cooking, cleaning, laundry, refereeing, etc. Like, my life is literally not my own anymore. I already work hard providing for my own two biological kids. Now, you tell me how hubbies can't understand that all of this creates one resentful person.
09-30-2021 02:06 AM
09-30-2021 02:18 AM - last edited on 09-30-2021 01:54 PM by Bre-RO
That is sad. Why don't your parents approve of the relationship, if you don't mind me asking? I'm sure that is also hard on the marriage.
Luckily, my mom agrees with me. She would never be rude to stepson or mistreat him, she just doesn't really care to spend time with him either. When we go visit my folks in FL., she pretty much lets me know that she wants to spend quality time with her own grand-kids.
09-30-2021 04:13 PM
I just wanted to check in with you both after catching up on this thread. One thing that stood out was how similar your experiences are! It was lovely to see you supporting each other, and I can imagine it’s a relief to share your feelings and be understood openly.
The disappointment, frustration and anguish of choosing between the “lesser evil” is such a difficult challenge to wrestle with every day. All this whilst managing day-to-day responsibilities - it’s understandable that the situation is weighing very heavy.
There was mention of couples counselling. However, this wasn’t helpful due to the strategies suggested. So I’m wondering if one on one counselling is an option? It might be nice to have someones undivided attention and time to talk about how this situation is for you. I also hope that you can continue to support one another here and connect with other parents too.
There are many parents and blended families in our community, and we value having these tough conversations. Our online community is here to support the well-being of all young people and their families. The community guidelines outline how we ensure the space is helpful for everyone. Here is a link if you would like to give them a read.
We edited parts of the conversation that didn’t align with our community guidelines. However, we hope to work together as a community to discuss the experiences shared in this thread. We created a space here for blended/stepfamilies to support each other and share ways of coping when things are tough. Feel free to check it out and share your experience there too!
Take care and hope to hear how you're both going soon.
10-08-2021 05:16 AM - edited 10-08-2021 05:47 AM
10-08-2021 01:48 PM - edited 10-08-2021 01:48 PM
Hi @Ifeltfree18 Thank you for sharing this with us. It sounds like what you are going through is very difficult at the moment and we're glad that you can talk about it here. I am sorry to hear about the hardships in your relationship with your stepson. It's a complicated position for you to be in right now, considering his behaviours and the strain it is putting on your family, as well as your individual health.
I want to celebrate that you’re speaking about this difficult situation with respect and empathy for your family. I want to check in and make sure that you are also supporting yourself during this difficult time. Do you have any supports for yourself? (e.g. friends, other family or professional support).
As you can see from this thread alone, there are many members of our community that have been through similar experiences. You are not alone and we're glad that you're here.
10-16-2021 09:08 AM
10-16-2021 04:08 PM - edited 10-16-2021 04:09 PM
Hi @amrirod, it sucks to hear about what you have been going through lately. It sounds like a really tough situation to be in as it is your stepson that has been having some behavioural issues. Sounds like your stepson really cares about his mother and father and wants to spend as much time with them as possible. It also sounds like things could be quite confusing for him as his mother has been in and out of his life at times. Does he see any professionals that can provide support to him throughout this?
It also sounds like things are taking a toll on you too as you mentioned you are starting to resent your stepson. Do you have any professional supports around you that you can talk to about how you are feeling?
11-19-2021 07:00 AM - last edited on 11-19-2021 03:08 PM by Portia_RO
Sounds like you don’t like your stepson altogether. Regardless or not its probably important that your husband feels respected when it comes to his son from his previous relationship. Blended families can be difficult. My step son lives with us full time . You might want to try and set healthy boundaries to make everything fair and equal so there is no favouritism. It might be a little unfair for you to make all these different arrangements without his son . If he’s apart of your family, he probably wants you to accept him and include him . By the sounds of it you don’t see him all the time and he certainly doesn’t live with you full time.