Lonely and excluded

[Jane500]

Hi all I’m so lonely and get excluded from so many things with my daughter . She is nearly six and I’m 55 so an older mum. It breaks my heart when my daughter is excluded from parties etc . I’m always the one reaching out for play dates , and nobody reaches out to me . My daughter is the only child and I’m wondering why nobody contacts us ! We are a nice family , normal people nothing outstanding to put people off !! I’m single and my daughter is very friendly and kind , so I don’t understand !!!! Is it my age ?

[Iona_RO]

Hi @Jane500 

I'm really sorry to hear that you are feeling lonely and excluded at the moment. Being a single mum is really tough and can be really isolating, I'm really glad you've reached out for some support.

I'm wondering if you have tried joining a local mum's group to try connect with some other parents? Melbourne Mums Group has a range of events on for mums and kids that might be good to check out. It looks like they have a Facebook Group too that could be a good way to chat to some other parents too.

Do you have family/friends around to support you and your daughter? Having a support network as a single parent is so important, you don't need to do this on your own 

[Malena]

Hi Jane500,

It must be very difficult for you and your daughter. I am an older mum as well. My three older children are in their twenties and my youngest is 11. I have been experiencing same situations. My son hardly ever gets invited to parties and playdates. My situation is I work full time and i don't go to school and hang out with other mums. It saddens me to see other kids going to playdates which my son tells me about, but he does not get invited.

On the bright side my son is 11, going to high school next year and I am certain he will make new friends and be able to hang out with them and be part of a group he will feel included and happy.

have you thought about joining a mum's group or maybe a hobbies group, something you like to do and connecting with other people who may have young kids? 

I try to catch every moment while my kids growing up as they are wonderful in any stage so enjoy your time with you daughter and make the most of it!

I wish you and your daughter all the best.

[Bel_RO]

Hey @Malena ,

Welcome back to the ReachOut Parent Forums and thank you for sharing your story! I can see how upsetting it would have been to hear your son tell you about the other kids attending playdates. It would be difficult for a child to not be invited to these playdates or parties, yet hear about them and the fun other kids had. I can see that it is heartbreaking to see your son’s awareness of this and feeling partly responsible for it. However, it's so admirable to see you are raising 4 children/young adults, working full time, while still able to catch as many moments as you can with your son.

In addition, I want to acknowledge how admirable it is to see your resilience and optimism for your son and how he will make new friends once he begins high school. It is such a beautiful thing to hear and see. 

I hope that things get better for you and your son soon!