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School refusal

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School refusal

I'm having trouble getting my teen daughter up for school she's missed atleast 15 days since school started and won't tell me why she won't get up she won't even say a word. She stays in bed all day. What can I do? Will I get in trouble with the law? What is my options here?

Re: School refusal

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Welcome to the forums @Jazzyjennifer - we're really glad you reached out here for support. Heart

That sounds really hard for your daughter and stressful for you. 

Has this been going on for long, or is it a fairly recent thing?


Most young people know that not going to school has potential negative consequences, so there's usually a good reason why they're struggling with going. Is there anything you can think of that might have contributed to your daughter feeling this way?


When you talk about your daughter staying in bed all day, I'm wondering - do you think she could be feeling depressed or anxious?

If she doesn't already have access to professional support (eg. a counsellor or psychologist), is that something you think would be worth trying, if she's open to it? 


Sounds like she's having a lot of trouble talking about what's happening for her and I'm wondering how you would both feel about spending some time together re-connecting, and whether that might help her to feel safe to share what's happening for her. If so, is there something you both love to do together that might help her to feel supported and nurtured to open up to you more?

If suggestions are helpful, we have an article with some helpful tips about school refusal on our website here in case you'd like to take a look, and Raising Children Network has some information here. There are also threads on the forums here and here where other parents and carers have shared their experiences of supporting young people through school refusal. 


Have you got support for yourself and someone you can talk to through this?
It's obvious how much you care about your daughter and how concerned you are for her - it must be really hard to see her going through such a difficult time.