Need help now?

Step daughter telling her dad to choose me or her

Discussion forum for parents in Australia

Step daughter telling her dad to choose me or her


Step daughter telling her dad to choose me or her

I’m the step mum to 4 kids. The eldest a near 16yr old girl. Been in there life for 5yrs
During Covid I was unwell didn’t look after my mental health and also had medical issues. I began not being a great role model losing my temper at my kids and his. And started drinking more to cope.
No excuses but I pushed them all away. The last 9mths I have worked hard on my mental health, don’t drink, have done great work at being my old self if not better.
But the 16yr old girl says she hates me keeps telling dad to get rid of me, tries getting other kids to hate me. It breaks my heart for him as all he asks is she gives me a chance. He loves us both very much. I keep telling him I was horrible as a teenager and this will pass. He thinks if she just does what she says ends our marriage all will be fine. I don’t know what to say to help. Anyone with ideas or been in similar situations?
Super contributor

Re: Step daughter telling her dad to choose me or her

Message contains a hyperlink

Hi @Bradybunchmum,

Thank you for sharing what is going on for you. It sounds like you have a lot of insight into the situation which is really great as it shows how willing you are to make changes. Everyone makes mistakes and lockdown was a really difficult time for so many people, especially in Victoria. What really matters is the amount of effort you are putting in now to better yourself and improve your relationships and coping strategies. Well done on doing so, that must have been really tough!

It also must be so hard for you to hear those comments from your stepdaughter. It also puts you in a really uncomfortable position, both with your partner and your stepdaughter too. How does your partner handle the situation? What is his view? I am also wondering if you have considered family counselling? They might be able to work with your family to better understand your dynamic and offer suggestions to help manage the situation. If you're looking for more support, there are services like Parent Line which offer counselling over the telephone Heart