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Help with daughters depression

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Help with daughters depression

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Beani

Help with daughters depression

Hi everyone

I am the mother of a 17 year old girl. She has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression when she was 14. We have been muddling though the last few years a little blind. She is very good at hiding her feelings from us, as she does not want us to worry.

She has been on medication for 2 years and recently went on another medication to assist with insomnia and suicidal thoughts mainly late at night. She is very irregular with taking her meds, she feels like she is 'not worthy' so why bother. Sometimes I feel like she doesn't want to get better. She does see a counsellor but she only works on day a week and the appointments are not as regular as they need to be

She has just finished year 12 and is waiting her exam results. She puts a lot of pressure on herself to do well in school and is very academic. 

I am at a loss with how to help her. She is moody and spends a lot of time in her room, only coming out to eat etc. Its gotten worse with school finishing, I think she feels a little lost. Shes had something to do each day for 13 years and now its finished. 

She spends a LOT of time playing online games with friends. When she plays she sounds happy and confident. But that is the only time I hear her like this. 

I guess Im after support from other parents, how to you discipline a child with mental illness? She will be 18 in a few weeks, how can you remove privilege from an adult, especially when she paid for them herself? 

She has self harmed on and off over the years, Im fairly sure she is again. Its honestly heartbreaking but I feel so lost

Star contributor
TOM-RO

Re: Help with daughters depression

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Hey @Beani Welcome to the forum Smiley Happy Thanks for sharing your concerns about your daughter- I can hear she means a lot to you and you’re doing so much to support her. I’m sure others parents will jump in soon to share their experiences as it’s quite common for a teenager to experience anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and self-harm. Sounds like she’s struggling with purpose and meaning in her life and perhaps she pulls away from connecting with you to protect you. Are there things in her life other than online gaming and school that give her life value? I’m sure she’s probably going through a really vulnerable time finishing school now and you’re right- she probably does feel quite lost and confused. I’m sure you’ve probably already done this but sometimes letting your child know you are there for them and if she makes the choice to reach out and talk- that you will be there to listen without judgement. She might also benefit from reaching out to services like Kids Help Line, Suicide Call Back Service or eHeadspace who have online and phone counselling when she feels unsafe? It’s a really tough one wanting to set boundaries with your child but also having to take into consideration their mental health- can feel like you’re walking on egg shells. I read this article which discusses boundary setting- it's simple yet to the point. Let me know what you think https://www.sane.org/the-sane-blog/caring-for-others/boundary-setting-and-mental-illness 

Star contributor
Breez-RO

Re: Help with daughters depression

Hey @Beani, how are you feeling at the moment?