How much should a parent withstand

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Frequent scribe

How much should a parent withstand

My 13 yr old daughter is out of control emotionally. I am trying my hardest to get her the help and support support she needs quickly She suffers anxiety and self esteem issues which I get but it is truly taking a toll on me health wise and other family members think she is just a brat. The profanities that she screams out think of the worst word and having that screamed out for the whole street to hear is becoming a bit much. Getting help is slow public or private. She had been seeing psychologist at headspace but things just have escalated. I love my girl and dont want to give up on her but gee she is really pushing boundaries. I have 2 older boys 16 & 26 that we havent done too badly raising them and they are both horrified the way there sister talks to me.
I am not sure how much more I can endure 😔
Mod

Re: How much should a parent withstand

Hey @Help_needed, thanks for sharing that with us. It sure is difficult to support someone when their behaviour upsets those around us. It sounds like you are trying your best and doing all you can to get professional support for her. Another service she can use is Kids Helpline. It has web chat and telephone counselling and is often used in between psychologist/psychiatrist appointments. That being said, it sounds like you and your family are in need of self-care and showing some love to yourselves. How do you all enjoy yourselves through this?

Frequent scribe

Re: How much should a parent withstand

I have been enjoying Netflix lately. To be honest our family has lost touch with family enjoyment since my daughters emotional issues have impacted our family since puberty kicked in about 2 years ago.
Frequent scribe

Re: How much should a parent withstand

It's a hard long road. My daughters various problems began at 13 too. She is now 14. Life is a rollercoaster of emotions for her and now me. I currently have her engaged with CAMHS. The waiting list is long and at the beginning it's seems a waste of time. But after a few visits they are well worth the effort your child.   Look CAMHS up if you are in Australia and get on their waiting list asap. All the best

Frequent scribe

Re: How much should a parent withstand

Thank you. I had headspace refer her back to Paediatric Rehabilitation service that I have been working with over the years as my daughter had an acquired brain injury when she was almost 3 so we are not sure if her anxiety issues developed from this or just her biological makeup from birth I think I might try CAMHS after reading there services. It has been a long hard year with my daughter and I just hope for 2019 to be a little less intense.
Mod

Re: How much should a parent withstand

Hi @Help_needed I'm sorry to hear of the difficulty you have been experiencing with your daughter and the toll it has taken on you. It sounds like you have all been through so much particularly with her acquired brain injury and anxiety. CAMHS sound like a good option in terms of getting further support. You are a caring, loving and supportive parent, she is lucky to have you. Stay strong Heart. We're here for you. 

Casual scribe

Re: How much should a parent withstand

HI @Help_needed I can completely empathise - mental health behaviours are so difficult to explain to others who just have no experience of it.  I too am in the midst of this with my 14yr old daughter and she frequently comes across to others as a spoilt brat, acting out to get her own way...however, I know different.

I feel at a complete loss at this point in how to help her...but what I am learning is that one of the best things we can do is to look after ourselves as ultimately we will be no good to them if we crumble.

As mums we give everything to our kids but it's time to be a bit selfish - make time to do something for you, meet up with friends, a night out...anything to escape what you have to deal with day to day. This is my new years resolution to myself..that and get counselling for me as it's becoming increasingly harder to deal with the turmoil every day.  As you say your 2 boys are ok so it's not anything you are doing wrong..take comfort in that x

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Community Manager

Re: How much should a parent withstand

@Help_needed How is everything going this week? Thinking of you. 

 

@WorriedMum1 amazing advice around looking after yourself, and prioritizing your own well being. This can be so difficult to do as a parent, but it is so important. 

What an amazing new years resolution to get counselling - I really hope that it is helpful Heart How has your week been?