PLEASE REPLY!!! 6 year son complaint by teacher

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Casual scribe

PLEASE REPLY!!! 6 year son complaint by teacher

Ok, so i am not sure i am over-reacting or its normal but  i am very upset with the complaint from the teacher. So i joined this forum to seek help.

 

Little background - We have arrived from India few months back and my son is having trouble settling here due to language problems. He is very sincere, obedient and fun loving. Doe to language problem with other kids he doesnt mix-up with them much but tries to be part of other kids games and activities. He do complains many times that few kid tease him and even if he tells the teacher nothing changes. But if any kid makes his complain then teacher stops him but politely.

 

Today - So this morning his teacher made a complaint - about him bringing blu-tak(a stick material to stick papers). Few days back he bought blu-tak from school and when i asked him who gave you this he told his classmate. He told all kids bring something from home to play, so i told him not to take anything from other kids and rather bought him new ones for him to play.

 

All is fine until here. But when she progressed telling me that he steal charts from the class, this really made me crazy. Ok so i remember him bringing charts from school and when i asked he told he took it for drawing. I told him that this is not good to bring things from class he told that other students too have taken it. 

 

So the teacher telling me a 6 year old is stealing is something troubling my mind and requires some serious attention now. I am not able to understand what should i do.

 

1). Talk to teacher - that due to some misunderstanding this happened but we will ensure it wont happen again.

2). Talk to my son and tell him that this is not right.

 

But one thing that i am not able to understand is why does school teacher used the word 'steal'. The way i was approached is something that is troubling me. He is just a kid and we cannot put such allegations on him.

 

So someone please help me on this. I don't want any trouble to my son not sure how he will be treated.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prolific scribe

Re: PLEASE REPLY!!! 6 year son complaint by teacher

Hi @ls1740 thanks for reaching out before going back to talk to the teacher.

 

Relationships between school and home can be very tricky, even more tricky when there is a language difference. 

Your family is going through many changes. Your son is probably struggling to cope with a lot of it. It's also hard to know what is really happening. We like to believe our kids but they also have a very different perspective to adults about many actions. 

 

I encourage you to meet with this teacher and just listen to their explanation. Do not take your child to this meeting or leave them outside unless needed. Ask questions to clarify all the details. Think about what has been said before reacting. From the teacher's perspective, your son may be stealing the charts. Are they expensive or laminated or are they just pieces of paper? Are they something that a lot of work has gone into making? Are other children really doing it as well or does your son "think' they are? He could be getting very confused or just trying to fit in.

 

Once you have listened to the teacher and are sure you understand what is happening then ask her,

"What can we do about this? Together" Put together a joint plan and stick to it. Meet again in a week or even the next day if you need to. While all this change is happening your son may just need you to be 'there' more often. 

 

If, after all this you are still not happy, you can ask to speak to the deputy principal or principal.  It helps to remember you all have the same goal of educating your son. Please try to stay positive and keep an open mind. There are lots of children in each class and heaven knows what else is happening. 

 

Also, it is expected that all children of school age understand the concept of ownership and property. That is why they are asked to name everything. While you may think this is innocent behaviour, another little boy or girl might be very upset by the swapping that is going on. As I said, we all have different perspectives. Please keep that in mind. 

 

Good luck with this. I hope it all settles soon. School is a great place to find our what other support networks are available to your family.

 

JA
Prolific scribe

Re: PLEASE REPLY!!! 6 year son complaint by teacher

Hi @ls1740 

 

School can be quite daunting for children in the early grades.   We all react badly when our children are negatively tagged and labeled so it is understandable that it drives you crazy.  It is our basic nature to protect our children so it is perfectly normal to have strong feelings when feel this is happening.

 

I would never suggest you don't feel that way, just try to control your responses in front of the teacher and your son to avoid making the situation worse.  If you need to go home and talk with an Aunty and have a good rant then do so when home and your son is asleep Smiley Happy

 

 

Let me see if I can help with some advice based on my kids and their schooling.

"But one thing that i am not able to understand is why does school teacher used the word 'steal'. The way i was approached is something that is troubling me. He is just a kid and we cannot put such allegations on him."

I totally agree, no 6 year old steals.  They may take things without permission, but to assign the mens rea (criminal intent) required to steal for a 6 year old is simply wrong.  

 

Being a teacher is not easy and just like the rest of us, sometimes a poor choice of words can have unexpected results.  I hope that a junior primary teacher realises 6 year olds don't always understand the concept of communal property that needs to remain in the classroom, and is simply trying to engage your assistance in teaching your son this but unfortunately chose poor language to communicate this.

 

Also given your son says others are doing similar things, the teacher is probably dealing with different children and parents and could be quite frustrated.   You shouldn't see this as it should be done confidentially with the other children's parents.

 

 I am not able to understand what should i do.

1). Talk to teacher - that due to some misunderstanding this happened but we will ensure it wont happen again.

2). Talk to my son and tell him that this is not right.

This is a great plan I would stick to that.

 

I would add as a third step (as @JAKGR8 suggested )engage the  head of the year, deputy head or headmaster/headmistress if you have issues with talking with the teacher.

 

In the big picture, the taking of a few posters to draw on really should be a fairly minor matter that requires some simple education for your son on what it is ok to take and what should be left in the classroom.  After all school is about learning many things beyond spelling and maths Smiley LOL

 

As long as you can look beyond the bad choice of words from the teacher and help your son learn what is expected and it should all be good quite quickly.  

 

 

 

 

Casual scribe

Re: PLEASE REPLY!!! 6 year son complaint by teacher

Thanks for replying.. it means a lot...
Active scribe

Re: PLEASE REPLY!!! 6 year son complaint by teacher

Best you can do is being clear and teach your child that taking belongings from places or people with no permission
Or not paying it’s called stealing . That way he will learn the right way