Worries with 13 year old boy
- Parents forum
- :
- Common Concerns
- :
- Everyday issues & mental health
- :
- Worries with 13 year old boy
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Mark Topic as New
- Mark Topic as Read
- Float this Topic for Current User
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Printer Friendly Page
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Worries with 13 year old boy
10-09-2018 09:18 PM
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Worries with 13 year old boy
10-09-2018 10:08 PM
Hey @lizard0812, of course this is a very frustrating and no doubt painful situation I send a lot of love your way in dealing with this. Sounds like he's really got his shoulder turned on the family unit, and he's very intent on pushing boundaries and is probably quite unaware how much pain he is causing in the process. Can I ask to clarify, were you advised by the parents to let him cool off? Or someone else?
Please remember it's completely up to you whether or not you want to go and engage with him. He is thirteen, in Australia this would class him still as a child, but I do understand it can be difficult to balance ourselves in the middle of the seasaw and not tip too far to one side upsetting the situation further. What do you want to do right now? What's your gut saying?
@sunflowermom @taokat @Schooner
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Worries with 13 year old boy
10-10-2018 05:29 AM
I feel so out of my depth with this and I don’t know where to turn or what to say at times. I feel like I have every emotion going worry stress anger sadness and if my son feels half as bad as I do that makes me so very sad.
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Worries with 13 year old boy
10-10-2018 09:51 AM
Hi @lizard0812,
I know that feeling of being emotionally exhausted, even to the point of being unable to write and say things clearly. Take care of yourself.
It sounds like there is a lot going on in his head. It's a hard time for a kid. My son used to get angry sometimes, that was his way of saying "I need help". He couldn't find the right words either. We got there in the end, with medication and therapy and a lot of support from us. It can be a shockingly difficult road, but as a parent that's our job. Once again, take care of yourself.
Cooling down is a great approach. It is so easy to make the situation worse by saying the wrong thing, especially when you are exhausted. Often I tried not to respond in the moment, but I'd come back to it the next day or so, and just let him know that that was wrong, or hurtful, or whatever. I'd also punish him if I thought he was out of line, but not severely.
I guess we should also be aware that maybe something we as parents are doing might be making the situation worse. We did a little bit of family therapy. Looking back I wished we'd done more of that.
Good luck with the appointment
Cheers
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Worries with 13 year old boy
10-11-2018 06:55 PM
He attended app with no problem ordinarily it would be a struggle to get him there (nit sure he spoke) but we got him there. I’m waiting to here where too next cause he has not said a word literally.
Thanks for the support
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Worries with 13 year old boy
10-25-2018 09:37 PM
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Worries with 13 year old boy
10-25-2018 10:27 PM - edited 10-25-2018 10:28 PM
Heya @lizard0812, sorry to hear that things are so hard right now. Can you tell us a bit more about what is going on for you and your family right now? What support do you have through this situation right now?
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Worries with 13 year old boy
10-25-2018 10:35 PM
Hey @lizard0812,
It is so hard.
I hope you are getting the help you need. I think as parents we never get a lot of help, but I hope you are getting something.
I don't know what your boy needs, but I hope you can find the strength and help to work out what that is. I guess the medical team has looked at various possibilities. It was a shock for us to have my son checked for drugs, but it's good to rule that out. As parents sometimes we have to push the system a bit for our kids.
I do believe that kids at 13 can go through defiant, angry stages and come through them. In our case that anger was how my son told us he was in trouble, because he couldn't find the words to say it clearly. He is nearly 16 now. On Wednesday he gave me a hug and told me he loved me. Chances are your beautiful boy is still down there, underneath all that anger and aggression.
Cheers
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Worries with 13 year old boy
10-26-2018 03:36 AM
We have school support but even they said yesterday we are crisis point with him. There words “he is a good kid but tangled up with a bad crowd”. I am actually scared for him these kids are very streetwise he is not he has always been such a caring gentle kid and a good academic but that’s all gone.
Unfortunately mental health team were useless unless he was threatening to commit suicide at the time they didn’t want to know about it. Have a good gp that we have app with next week but unless he starts to open up and accept help I fear nothing will change.
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Email to a Friend
- Report Inappropriate Content
Re: Worries with 13 year old boy
10-26-2018 03:50 AM
I do have support of his dad but he is the same as me and feels like we have all but lost him.
Here it is 4am and I have had minimal sleep and about to face another day. To be honest I feel like going to sleep and not waking up. I know that doesn’t help the situation but that’s how I’m feeling and where I’m at.