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Backward steps

Discussion forum for parents in Australia

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Prolific scribe
lizard0812

Re: Backward steps

 

Thanks so much for taking the time and for the support.  I actually do see a psychologist believe it or not.   I don't find when I am in this headspace though that anything helps.  I just really feel completely at a loss.  My whole life I have always been about helping others and making sure everybody else is ok with no regard to how it affects me so now it is affecting me I feel so out of control I honestly feel I can go no further down.  I have been put on some medication that is allowing me to get some sleep but I am so out of it during the day I cant stand it.  I still have to work, I still have to try my best to parent.  I don't want to be a bother to anybody to be honest. 

 

My psychologist wanted me to call my family whilst I was in her office last week because she knows I desperately need help and probably wont call otherwise.  I didn't call and I haven't called I just cant its just all too hard.  They have enough of their own stuff going on they don't need my issues. 

 

I have got some hired help in place at home starting this week which might help ease things as when you are so emotionally drained nothing gets done and that gets us down even more.  Thanks for listening it all helps. 

Prolific scribe
lizard0812

Re: Backward steps

I'm  feeling pretty crap.  I actually do have a professional that I see but when I'm so far down nothing seems to make a difference.  She tried to get me to call family when I was in her surgery last week cause she can see the immense struggle but I didn't and I still haven't they don't need my stresses on top of their own.  I have always been there for everybody from a very young age.  I never liked conflict I always liked everybody to be happy and I would help anybody and listen to anybody and do whatever I had to even if it affected me in a negative way as long as they were ok.   Unfortunately that is not helping me now and hence why people are not there cause I have always seemed ok and always been the one to help everybody else.  I think because I can always tell if people are not ok others can see that I am not but maybe that is not the case.  Ill get through some how I'm sure its just so tough at times.  Thanks for your support it all helps especially when you can chat to others that have been in similar situations.

Star contributor
Zoesplace

Re: Backward steps

Hi @lizard0812 I can really sense your despair and terribly stressful time you are having. When my daughter was really sick and her behaviour was both out-of-character and unacceptable, I second-guessed myself constantly, thought I was a terrible mother and felt so guilty and helpless.  I was ready to move out, I thought I couldn't cope with anymore. 

 

6 months later.... we have survived what I would consider the worst time of our lives, and things are so much better.  

 

Your physiologist was right by asking you to call your family for help. What would happen If they knew how much you are struggling - Would they help?  You are correct, everyone has issues and their own life to deal with, but its in our nature to help those around us, especially those we love.  I encourage you to call someone you can trust, whether that be a family member or friend and ask for help.  Don't give up hope...you can get through this

Star contributor
Breez-RO

Re: Backward steps

Hey @lizard0812 I concur with @Zoesplace it could be really good to just let even one person in that you trust. It sounds to me like you really minimise your challenges. Always putting other people's movement's ahead of your own. Remember pain is relative - and your pain is real. It deserves just as much love and support as the next person Heart

 

So glad to hear about the hired help.